...Says The Single Girl » Sex

The Dirty, Stinking (Possibly Rotten) Truth

STSG — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 05:16:25 +0000

Manny has a problem.

He likes this girl but there’s one thing that is keeping him from going forward with her…wait for it…her vagina smells.

Manny describes her pre-shower odor as a mean combo of ass and fish. Post shower, Manny was puzzled to find that there was still an order. This time she smelled like “drool.”

“Drool?” I asked

“Yeah, like spit. I like my pussy like I like my Dove soap…unscented.”

I really felt for Manny, he is a great guy. Tall, dark and handsome. Smart, hella funny and talented. It just so happens that he is also super picky so whenever I hear that he’s dismissed a women it often is due to the silliest of things.

“She lives to far and doesn’t have a car.”

“She’s too light.”

“I know her friends.”

“She smokes cigarettes.”

This Manny is also the one who was the inspiration behind the “If Jesus Could Wife a Whore, Why Can’t You Wife a Lady with a Baby?”

I’ve been hearing about Ms. Smelly Snatch for weeks now. The topic always starts with her being at his place, them getting touchy feely and he not being about to seal the deal cause the first whiff of her makes him go limp.

She’s really feeling him and wants to know why he always flicks the “off” switch when they’re on the verge of getting it on.

“She wants to know why I’m not feeling her,” he tells me.

“What did you say?”

“I told her that I was always on the fence about us and just think we would be better suited as friends.”

“Really? You made all that up instead of telling her that her pussy smells.”

“You think I should tell her!”

“Hell yeah, tell her. She needs to know. Either she has a hygiene problem or a medical problem. Sit her stinking ass down and tell her the truth. You could be saving her life.”

“So, say I tell her and then what? I have to look her in the face.”

“Manny, you have to an adult on this one. Man up.”

“I don’t understand how telling a girl her pussy stinks is manning up.”

As adults, there comes a time when we must be the barer of bad news and say the things that no one wants to hear, but needs to. Telling someone you are interested in that they smell not only helps you out, it helps them. Of course no woman wants to hear that her cat trap really smells like cat. No man wants to hear that his dick is small either, but the truth is the truth.

In Manny’s case, he’s dealing (notice the tense is current cause he hasn’t told her yet) with a woman who otherwise was in the running for something more.

“She’s mad cool. I thought could see where it goes but now I can’t get past that smell.”

“What if you tell her, she gets checked out and takes care of the smell; would you think about sticking around then?”

“No. I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It might come back.”

- SG

Jump Offs Exist (Even Essence.com Knows This)

STSG — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:57:53 +0000

I woke up this morning to learn that the internet was in an uproar (well just black women on the internet) over Essence.com’s new men’s blog It’s a Man’s World and its debut post “The Truth about Jump Offs” written by journalist/editor Jozen Cummings.

Jozen is a friend and told me about the post before it went up. I jokingly warned him that once it went up women everywhere were going to search to find out who he was. He didn’t tell me about the subject matter but I’ve learned that whenever a man talks candidly about relationships especially sex the way say Naked with Socks On or Jozen does on his new and thoroughly entertaining Until I Get Married, women either become instant fans or haters.

Not surprisingly, Jozen has been attacked by the latter.

Jozen wrote about the rules of Jump Offs aka Bed Buddies aka Casual Sex Partners. Whatever you want to call it, it boils down to two consenting adults having sex with no strings attached. However, just reading the comments you’d think he’d written about how to pimp a woman out and beat her into submission.

For all the hype “The Truth about Jump Offs” caused, what Jozen wrote and the manner in which it was expressed wasn’t as harsh, raw and sexist as it could have been. Sometimes the harsher the words the more likely the lesson trying to be conveyed is lost. [Originally I wanted to title this “Bitch Please” but decided to soften it up a bit. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.]

The subject of casual sex should be a candid one. If more of us were comfortable with it perhaps there wouldn’t be all this hiding and creeping around. Perhaps we’d feel more comfortable buying condoms at a drug store instead of stealing them (which is why many drug store chains lock them up. SMH!) or get caught up in the moment because we swore we weren’t going to sleep with him and end up sexing without protection.

Let’s say these women aren’t upset with the subject matter but rather the messenger—Essence.com.

Many black women are unhappy because they aren’t being fulfilled, spend way too many nights in bed alone, prayed one too many times to God for a man but aren’t doing the things in their own power to make one want to stay.

Women like these do read Essence and consider it to be their bible.

Why shouldn’t they know about the rules of casual sex?

Should Essence keep them in a bubble?

Are the angry comments coming from women who are delusional about the current state of affairs between men and women in the bedroom?

Lastly, should black women not have sex outside of committed relationships? (Please!)

We women spend the majority of our lives wondering what men think. We buy music by men talking about love and hope that one day a man will say words like that to us. We buy books written by men about finding love and hope that it will bless us with a new inside track. We talk our male friends ears off about our new beaus or crushes; badgering them to death until they say what we want to hear, “He sounds like a great guy. I’m sure it will work out. You’re a wonderful woman.”

Yet, when Jozen speaks on sex so candidly it becomes a clutch your pearls, let’s burn our Essence magazines and hack the website moment.

Let’s keep it funky, the majority of these women aren’t upset about being a J.O. I’m sure they have engaged in some nice mature hot sexy fun. What hurts the most is hearing a man say it and to have your holy grail of the black woman’s experience publish it.

They’re probably thinking, “If I wanted this type of material I’d read Playboy or Cosmo.”

To all of you, I say…get over it.

The only women that are offended by this are the ones that have had it happen to them and were too dumb or “caught up” to realize it at the time. Personally, I think this is a “straight up-no chaser” approach to the situation and that is exactly what a lot of us good women out here in the world need so that we won’t get caught up like the rest of the bitter women who are the jump offs.

Posted by: THE QUEEN 336 | 09/21/2009 at 07:48 PM

Spoken like a woman who is a realist.

Personally, I held a memorial for the term “Jump Off” at the start of this year but I still encourage people to learn how to “Negotiate a Lover”.

Ladies, be real and smart. There are men out there that just want to have a good time. Sometimes you will want to have a good time too. Treating every man you have sexual chemistry with as a potential boyfriend or husband is a recipe for disaster. Standing on a pedestal, waving your “Angry Woman’s Demand for Respect” booklet will get you no where.

If you aren’t engaging in casual sex why judge those who are or want to learn how to?

[Full Disclosure: …Says the Single Girl has a content sharing partnership with Essence.com but you’ve probably never seen her writing on the site because she’s a little too raw for the Essence audience.]

Dear SG: Are All Women The Same In Bed?

STSG — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 13:57:19 +0000

Dear Single Girl -

I want to know if men think that women are all the same in the bedroom? Your thoughts? I’ve heard guys say it and I want to hear others’ opinions – Kinyetta

~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t even get the point of the question. Same in terms of what? Two boobs and a cooch? Well, if that’s the case I surely hope so anything less or more than that is a problem.

Now, if she’s talking about sexually then the answer is hell no. What would make her think such a broad statement were true? As with anything in life there are good, bad, and happy mediums. You pray for more good in the bedroom but there are also plenty of wack broads in the bedroom.

We all know not every girl gives head, and even those that do don’t necessarily do it well.

So to say all women are the same is a silly statement in my book. Does she think all guys are the same? I’d hope not cause I’m way better than the last dude you were with. LOL.

But seriously, no all men don’t think all women are the same in the bedroom. If that was the case there wouldn’t be terms for wifey, slut, whore, freak, etc.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“I’ve been fortunate to have “relations” with women who were never boring. Well, except for one which ironically was the one I lost my virginity to. She just laid there while I was pumping away. No excitement at all. But after that experience I’ve dealt with adventurous women (i.e. Public sex, either at my job during office hours, on a rooftop, a stairway at my college during school hours, at a radio station while on a break, or in a club bathroom), experimental women (i.e. Toys) and women who made sex exciting mainly because they were in tuned with their bodies and know EXACTLY what they like done to them, which varied from each women. For example, I dealt with a woman that just wanted me to play with her breast because she came off of just that. What also made the sex exciting is the energy me and that person had. I’ve had one who would come off of giving me head. Communication on what were our turn-on’s and turn-off’s played a major role in this. I haven’t had a “dead fish” since my first.

No, not all women are the same in bed. Different women have different things that turn them on in bed. If you get intimate with a woman who loves foreplay and take that experience to the next woman who isn’t into foreplay, you’re going to be scrambling to find out what she likes on the fly. This will probably make for a terrible experience for the woman who doesn’t like foreplay. As a man, you have to treat pleasing different women like you’re training for a series of boxing matches. You have to scout each partner to see what makes them weak in the knees.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Hell, no. In my experience EVERY woman is different. From what turns them on to what turns them off, no two women are the same. No, they are all different as well. Some women do just lay there and others know what they want. Some women hate performing oral and others love it. That’s what I am saying — women are all different.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Whoever thinks all women are the same in the bedroom probably had two, three partners in their life max. I’ve never heard something so ridonkulous in my life. I’m merely answering to refute the claim all women are same in bedroom, which is ludicrous. Now, if you want me to explain all the types of women I’ve had in the bedroom…there isn’t enough space on your server for all of them.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Nah I don’t think so. It is like cars…realistically…all cars do the same thing. But some drive better than others, look better, and got WAY more features. All girls are different in the bedroom in my opinion.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“This is a corny question. No they’re not all the same. You got prudes, freaks, gymnast, porn stars, workers, dead fish, stinky fish, trini’s, and so and so and so on.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Hmmmm….all the same…definitely not. Some women are freaky…other women will not lick your ball useless there was marriage talk at dinner. It’s hard to impress someone. But I don’t think all women are the same. It’s like saying every guy is the same.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Pussy isn’t all the same. The anatomy of a women changes and varies depends on genetics and what type of sexual activity she’s engaged in. The locker room talk about “loose” women is VERY true. I’ve slept with the “average” many times and have also had both ends of the spectrum in terms of tightness/looseness. Also, wetness is dramatically different from woman to woman. I’ve had everything from the Sahara to Niagara. Tightness and wetness are the two major criteria that make women very different in bed.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Most definitely not. Even if they look the same and act the same as the next chic, they will not do the same moves or moan the same way. Even if they’re identical twins and finish each others sentences, I gar-an-tee they both get down different in the bed. Granted pussy is pussy but, like my mans told me, “ain’t no pussy like new pussy.” And I think that’s part of the allure of being with different women for a lot of us. It’s always a new experience, good or bad.

One girl might only like riding or missionary, while the next likes for her hair to be grabbed while getting back shots and watching VHI (true story). Some girls like lights on, others lights off. Some like music some don’t. Just like every person is different, every girl is different in the bedroom.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“All Women are different sexually. They vary in terms of experience and “extroversion”. Some women are shy and others are straight freaks. Every woman is different as a person and as a sexual being”

~~~~~~~~~~

“All women are definitely NOT the same in bed in any aspect. Any guy that says that has the sexual aptitude of a teenager. Obviously-there are certain general rules that apply. Guys and gals like to cum, no shit. Seriously however, women in bed are as different as their personalities; from their likes/dislikes to how comfortable they are experimenting new things. My homegirls joke with me that I have a “stripper-esque” taste. This is simply because in my opinion they seem to be more comfortable with being exposed, which to me; the more comfortable you are with your self and with your partner, the better the experience will be. So from a guy, no, every woman is different in bed. Don’t be scurred to try new things-that’ll definitely eliminate any blanket generalization.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Kinyetta -

I hope these men answered your question.

LMAO!

Special thanks to the Men’s Department aka the wonderful men who answered my call and will occasionally be offering their opinion on topics that need a man’s touch.

- SG

Dear Single Girl: Can I Be Allergic To My BF’s Semen?

STSG — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 04:44:49 +0000

Dear SG -

I allow my boyfriend to cum in me. Something I really like, and yes I am on birth control. The thing is sometimes it causes a burning feeling inside. I don’t know why it happens. Is it my body fighting the foreign fluid? Any answer or suggestion to another source would help thanks.

- Burning Up

Dear Burning Up -

This is a very interesting question. It is also one that I can not answer; a doctor I am not. Luckily for you, I know several coochie doctors and forwarded your question to them. Below you will find their responses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dr #1:

The Burning infection could either be an infection he or she has. Another possibility is she may have some sort of trauma in the vagina like a superficial laceration from intercourse. Perhaps he is a little ruff. I would recommend STD testing for her and him (Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Trichomoniasis) and a urine test for her.

She may also suffer from a non-STD vaginal infection such as Bacterial Vaginosis or a yeast infection.

Dr #2:

It should not burn….if it does, she should check for a vaginal infection. It could be a non sexually transmitted infection, like a yeast infection or Bacterial Vaginosis. Or it could be an STD….either way I’d go to a gynecologist and get checked!

There is a chance that it may not be an infection but an allergic reaction to semen. It’s called Human Seminal Plasma Hypersensitivity. It can be diagnosed by seeing if you have symptoms only when having sex without a condom. If this is the case it can be officially confirmed by seeing an allergist who will do skin testing. The most serious thing about this is that the allergy can worsen with each exposure and eventually lead to an anaphylactic response, which can include swelling, hives, and possible problems breathing.

My advice, try using condoms and seeing if symptoms improve. If so, then go see your Gyn or internal medicine doctor and get a referral to an allergist. Once the diagnosis is confirmed you can use condoms only or try a histamine blocker that will make the reaction less. You must use it approximately 30 minutes before intercourse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Burning Up -

I hope this helps you.

See, I’m more than just a dirty mouth. I help people too!

- SG

I’d Cheat On My Husband

STSG — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:20:38 +0000

No marriage is perfect yet whenever we hear of infidelity we automatically assume that it is the man that is stepping out. It’s almost as if it’s acceptable.
.
“Oh, he cheated. That dog. Please pass the salt.”
.
But let it be a woman who cheats on her husband and she becomes lower than dirt. How dare she cheat…on a man. Women don’t cheat, they get cheated on.
.
Well, let me be the first to say that if I ever get married and my husband isn’t laying it down right, I would cheat on him. I’ve long joked about this with friends but I’m kinda serious about it.

There are many reasons why people cheat and I’m not about to go into all of them, however I will tell you why I would cheat on my husband: Wack sex.

It seems like the longer you are married the less sex you have. I love sex, good sex and if my marriage was reduced to twice a month or lets skips a couple months completely…I am finding me a “lover.” I just love saying that word, “I have a lover.” I imagine he’s be exotic, smooth like Billie Dee Williams in Mahogany and cool enough to know that he is serving one need only. I don’t want the attention, to be wined and dinned. I just want sex and lots of it.

Of course, I’d give my husband an opportunity to make things better, but I have no patience and I’m sure with my cunning skills and power of manipulation I’d be able to sneak some ass on the side right in front of his face.

I know, you are shaking you head and calling me all kinds of “bitches” and whore”s but so what. It’s my marriage and no where in the bible does it say that a man and wife are only supposed to sleep with each other. And if it does say that, I haven’t seen it.

Cheating isn’t a big deal to me. I’ve been cheated on and been the cheater. I believe that cheating allows for a reality check. If you are just boy/girlfriend and one of you cheats, you should take the time to ask yourself:

1 – Why did I cheat?

2 – What is my partner not giving me that I’m seeking it elsewhere?

3 – What do I do now?

Take it from me; if you’ve been cheated on and confronted the person who betrayed you, chances are they aren’t sorry they cheated. They’re sorry they got caught. Most times when people cheat instantly they know, “That was a waste of my time. I’m much happier with what I got at home.” Then there are those who have to really think about whether they should end their relationship and continue to sow their wild oats (I never understood that saying by the way).

My girlfriends love to stone me when I start talking about how it’s not the end of the world if my boyfriend cheats but my marriage is over if my husband cheats. (Yes, I know I’m a ball of contradiction.)

If a boyfriend cheats, I would ask him to assess our relationship and decide whether we should really take it to the next level or part ways.

If a husband cheats, unless we have children the marriage is over! Why, because he made a verbal and legally binding promise to me.

When you aren’t married and in a relationship, that is purely voluntary. When you are married that is a commitment, sometimes you want to be there, sometimes you don’t. However, you vowed to be there so you have to make it last.

If you know me by now, you should know that I’m very dramatic. I don’t think I would really cheat on my husband for the same reasons why I wouldn’t want him to cheat on me. I do see marriage as being scared.

Now cheating on a boyfriend…been there, done that, might do it again.

- STSG

Originally Posted on Parlour Magazine

Maxwell Makes Me Wanna Sweat

STSG — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 17:55:28 +0000

Not for a long time have I been so moved by someone’s music but the new Maxwell album takes me back to my younger hopeless romantic days when I’d lay in the bed in the dark listening to a track on repeat thinking about the man in my life. Then there were the times when I’d play a whole album and it’d be my soundtrack for love making. I still can’t listen to Raheem Devaughn’s Love Experience without my eyes rolling to the back of my head. I broke my bed during this song…

Ohhh Weeee.

I feel that way again thanks to Maxwell. Not only can he get the bizness but he makes me want to give the bizness to someone–a night of passion, heat, sweat…oh lord, I think I just got pregnant.

That’s all I have to say about that!

- SG

He was Addicted to Sex, But Not How You Think

STSG — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 18:59:17 +0000

He sat across from me on our first date and made a shocking confession.

“I am addicted to sex.”

For some reason, I didn’t react. I wasn’t disgusted. In fact I believe I even smirked.

“Really?” I never had someone tell me they were a sex addict. Not sure that a first date was the best time either but then again it’s better to go in knowing than not.

“Yeah, something I’ve been dealing with for a while. It’s why I don’t date much. I really like you though.”

Right then, before our appetizers made it to the table, I knew that if I was to continue seeing this man I would have either be in a world of hurt or have some of the best sex ever. I’m twisted like that, a glutton for punishment. Sue me.

When someone tells you they have a sex addiction that doesn’t always mean “I have a sexual intercourse addition”. Dude was addicted to porn and masturbating. He jacked off 2-5 times a day. Some of those times, I’d be in the house, asleep while he’s playing stranger in the tub.

Can you believe I even had to beg him for sex? In his mind he didn’t want to sleep with me so often because then I wouldn’t be his “good girl”. Perhaps he didn’t want to unleash the beast. You know, the beast that during sex calls you some foul ass name, smacks your ass all hard and wants to cum on your eyelids.

Countless times we come in from a night out and a porno would be paused on the tv screen. In his rush to meet me, he forgot to stop the dvd and turn the tv off. He was actually the first guy that I felt comfortable watching porn with. You know how some couples make it a Blockbuster night? Well, we had Cockbuster nights. We’d be fully dressed, watching porn on the couch and not even have sex after. He really schooled me outside of the bedroom.

It’s clear that I, like most people, did not understand the many levels of sex addiction. I decided to do some googling:

Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results.

For some sex addicts, behavior does not progress beyond compulsive masturbation or the extensive use of pornography or phone or computer sex services. [SOURCE]

Masturbating was his attempt as curbing his addiction. If he masturbated then he wouldn’t go out and have sex with women. He and I where never in a committed relationship partially because I didn’t want him as a boyfriend and because he was emotionally stunted. He was a brick wall, no emotions at all. I later learned that is a part of having a sex addiction.

Yes, the sex (when he had it) was great. The (for lack of a better word) “relationship” didn’t last but a few months. Sweet guy but his problem was too big for me to handle.

Could you date or even marry someone with a sex addiction?

Pineapple Juice

STSG — Tue, 19 May 2009 15:33:36 +0000

When preparing for a first date with a lady they want to get up in, (some) men do very few things to make sure they are straight just in case they make it to home base:

- Pineapple Juice: Believe it or not, I’ve known dudes to drink pineapple juice in order to make their juices taste like a lollipop.

- AXE: Dudes O.D. and put this on the twig and berries to stay fresh. Gentlemen, this leaves a nasty taste and even numbs the tongue. If you are hoping to get head do not, I repeat, do not spray on the area.

- Condoms: At least two on his person at all times.

Ladies, if you are lucky, he may clean up the crib or at least change the bed sheets in the event of your arrival. You had a great first date yet he doesn’t want to come off too calculated so the crib may be a mess so that it seems like the invite was really a spur of the moment type thing.

That’s it.

Now, when it comes to us…Ladies, we haven’t been on point.

The reason? We swear we aren’t going to sex on the first date.

Some of you even wear the ugly draws on purpose as a sort of safety net. Like if you have on the cotton full cuts you’d be too embarrassed to let him get anywhere close to you. Then what happens? You find yourself looking for the granny panties in the dark before he offers to help you find them.

Girls, it’s 2009.

It’s time to face the facts…most of us will sex on the first date.

And there is nothing wrong with that. Let’s just be prepared like the men have been since jump. Most of this should go without saying but, here goes:

Wear matching panties and bra:

Men are very visual and the littlest things show them that you take care of yourself and the minor details.

Shave Everything:

If you get a freak who likes to eat you don’t want him rummaging through the forest when the wood should be already chopped.

Bring Your Own Condoms:

Yes, he is the one who has to wear it and should have a stash but there are too many condoms out now that pleasure you as well. If you like it ribbed, rippled or rigged, have what you like and see if he fits.

Have a Cab Number Ready:

Whether you are at his crib or yours, when the sex is over make the exit an easy one. No need to wake him up to beg for a ride home ’cause if you did it right, his ass should be knocked out.

Bring a toothbrush (But Don’t Let Him See it):

No need to ruin your first impression with hot mouth. If you break the dawn, brush them gums and leave him with a nice kiss on the cheek. Just because you two boned don’t think he wants tongue.

Freshen Up Pre-Sex:

As soon as you walk in the house after the outing, head to the restroom and freshen up even if you swear to the heavens above that you two aren’t going to get it on. STSG Tip: Wear a panty liner during the date and remove it when you get to the crib. That way when he reaches for your magic box he isn’t subjected to day old panties.

What are some of your personal Pineapple Juice-esque tips?

- STSG

Originally Posted August 26, 2008 on

Dickmatized

STSG — Mon, 11 May 2009 04:42:33 +0000

There is only one thing that I know can make a woman cut her hair, lose or gain crazy weight or insist folks call her by a new name she picked from a fortune cookie wrapper – dick.

I’m not talking regular d.i.. I’m talking the equivalent of California kush or hydro kinda magic stick.

Look over the course of history. While women have proven to be strong, leaders and rationale all coolness escapes once they’ve been turned out by a man who has managed to eff them so good they start to lose brain cells.

Cleopatra killed herself.

Monica Lewinsky kept a souvenir.

The Astronaut bitch drove for hours and pissed in diapers.

Lauyrn Hill…need I say more?

And the newest attention to the juicy got ‘em crazy crew is…Cassie.

For the last two years Cassie has been getting dicked down by Diddy. She’s been forced to keep it a secret. She’s probably being turned out and mind fucked by his egomaniacal ways. The child even released a song about it (”Official Girl”).

Recently, the beauty shaved her head. Not the whole head, just half. I guess to show she’s only half crazy.

Believe or not, this happens more often than not.

You can be dickmatized and be happy as well as sad.

When you’re happy your skin glows, you have a hop in your step and hear the birds sing, even if its night.

When you’re sad, you act out, become withdrawn and depressed. Wanting more than what you’re getting yet you don’t want to take the risk of losing all of your d-game access by bitching and complaining too much.

I love to tell the story of a girlfriend who was seriously dickmatized by a dude. None of her friends understood why she was with him but they assumed it was the way he laid it down.

It’s his birthday and she decides to throw him a party. However, there was a catch. Over the couple months they’d been dating, he never made it a point to introduce her to his friends. They were, themselves, planning a party for their homie. She decides to attach herself to what was essentially a group of his male friends kicking it at a bar/lounge. She insists her girls come to her man’s party.

Her girls get there. Its dead! 20 mins in, her man and his friends are slipping out the front door. She catches wind. Runs to the back kitchen to come out with a huge cake to try to get him to stay.

Doesn’t work.

The girls, seeing their dear friend slipping, decide to leave as well and take her with them. Her man and his friends hop in a cab. She, still holding the cake, insists that they drive behind the guys.

At a red light, she rolls her window down and starts begging this man not to leave her. They exchange words and as the light turns green she hops out, drops the cake in the street and jumps in the already full cab.

That must have been some voodoo if I do say so myself.

PSA: Dickmatization is an epidemic. It claims the sanity of millions of women each year. If you or someone you know is caught up please ask for help.

- STSG

originally published April 16, 2009 on

P*ssy Control

STSG — Fri, 08 May 2009 14:05:00 +0000

There is so much women can do to make sex more enjoyable for all involved. We’re not talking different positions. Think smaller. Yes. Your vagina, itself.

When used correctly, the love canal can squeeze, expand and moisturize itself with some direction from yourself. It’s not easy and takes some practice.

To keep it tight…

Do kegels and wall sits.

The pressure and release of you core and buttock contracting extends to your va-jay-jay muscles. Which means, if you were blown out the night prior you can go back to your old self in a day or two.

The wall sits are also great for building leg strength, which is a must of you plan on riding your man for long periods of time.

For squeezing…

Beads or weighted balls do the trick. Place them inside of you and walk around the house for a couple hours. I won’t recommend you rock them outside because with your every step the weights clang or worse they slip out cause you muscles aren’t keeping them in place.

For natural moisture…

No one wants dry sex. Sexual excitement has almost everything to do with your state of mind. Whenever you are relaxed and sexually aroused your brain naturally triggers the release of these fluids. So if you are feeling guilty, uneasy, nervous or tired chances are you are too distracted to let go and let god.

If you are into giving oral start your session with that. Try gagging on him. Yes, on purpose. That will cause your body to jerk and all of your juices will come out. Yes, the juices down there.

What’s the purpose for all this?

You should be able to control the depth of his stroke by expanding and contracting yourself. The more variation the better the feeling. Most importantly, you will be able to control things instead of being at the mercy of him. As he’s going back and forth you should be loosing and tightening at the same time and on beat.

Another great tip is clenching with your vagina as he comes. If you’ve ever had an orgasm you’d know this happens naturally. But you can also do this involuntarily.

The best way to test these tactics out is to practice…by yourself. Use either your fingers or a dildo and work those muscles out.

Ladies, hopefully you realize there is more to the game than laying on your back.

- SG