“SG, when the fuck did inviting the ex to the wedding become the move??!!”

Manny has a problem. He’s a great guy, so great in fact that most of his exes still consider him to be a friend.

One has just mailed him an invite to her wedding. He’s not happy about it.

“No idea,” I offer. “Guess they think we adults”

I’m dying laughing because I could tell by his voice over the phone he was sitting on his couch looking at the invitation on his coffee table probably rubbing his forehead.

“Where’d they get that bullshit idea from?” He is clearly torn. A part of him is honored while the majority of him is offended.

I don’t know what makes people invite their ex to their wedding. The person who sent the invite is nuts for thinking that their past intimacies with the invitee won’t come to surface, even if its just in the mind. The big “What If” is going to hit as soon as they see each other on the wedding day. They may even be subconsciously hoping the ex speaks up when that time comes up in the vows (you noticed people have cut that out from the ceremony). Maybe the to-be-wed wants to make the ex feel like shit.

Most times its not done out of spite but a lapse in judgement. The person who has moved on is on a completely different plane of existence. They’re not seeing the ex as a past lover with lingering emotions/resentment. They see them as two more eyes focused on them, on their day and another gift.

Exes also truly believe that since they’ve moved on and are happy you must be in the same place. Its the reason why whenever you talk to them you ask “So, are you seeing anyone.” When you say no they go on to tell you why you’re so great and how you deserve an amazing partner. All the shit they wasn’t saying to keep you two together.

Perhaps the bigger question is : What would make you want go to your ex’s wedding?

Vengeance? Resolve? Punishment?

One person’s lapse in judgement shouldn’t be your downfall. OK, so they invited you their wedding but that doesn’t mean you have to go. Some major factors in your decision to go should include:

- How long did your relationship last?

- How did it end?

- How long ago did it end?

- What kind of friend have you two been to each other since ending it?

- Do you still love/want them?

You don’t want to go to a wedding when part of you feels like you shouldn’t be there. You end up, the known ex, walking in with that searching look on your face. You know the one where you try to find that familiar face, someone from your ex’s life who you were cool with — a friend, cousin, mother. Someone who will validate you coming: “Oh, its so good to see you.” Only then will you relax and tell yourself you’re happy you came.

Then at the reception, someone will make their way over to say hello to you. Thanks to the open bar they blurt out to the table “You know this is [Bride/Groom]’s ex. We thought for sure you’d be the one up there.”

O-M-G.

You smile graciously but inside you want to run for the hills. To make matters worse you brought a date, who knew nothing about your past relationship.

A W K W A R D.

At some point you expalin that your relationship was so long in the past and hype up your “friendship” as if the ex is your BFF “even though we don’t talk or see each other often.”

Of course I didn’t tell Manny any of this. I was enjoying his disgust too much.

…Says the Single Girl

Long ago I decided that before I get married me and my future husband would seek couple’s counseling. There’s no way I want to enter a union with unresolved issues that could one day mean the demise of my marriage.

Whether it be our childhoods, relationships with parents (or lack there of), trust issues, low self esteem, etc. we are going to work it out before we walk down the aisle.

It’s also my hope that I find a man who is open to being spiritual. Perhaps therapy would bring us closer and then we can work on our relationship with God.

I grew up in the church and one day, when I’m done sinning I’ll go back to the church.

This raises the question:

What do you do when you’re saved but your significant other isn’t?

Scene:

Lobby of a video game launch party. SG runs into Married Manny. Former co-workers, they haven’t seen each other in two years.

SG: Manny, how are you!

Manny: I’m good. I’m blessed can’t complain.

SG: How are the wife and kids?

(Manny, 33, is married to his high school sweetheart. They have 4 kids.)

Manny: We’re separated.

SG: What? What did you do?

Manny: Why it got to be my fault? That’s messed up. You want to know what I did? I started going to church. Jesus broke up my marriage.

SG: [laughing] Are you serious?

Manny: Yes.

SG: That can’t be it.

Manny: Yes it is. I moved out and everything. I take the kids with me to church every Wednesday and Sunday. My wife not going is one thing, but my kids are going to church.

SG: Do you think you two will ever work things out. Sounds like you need therapy.

Manny: I suggested that we speak to my pastor but she thinks he’s just going to side with me because we are cool.

SG: I still can’t believe you’re separated because of church.

Manny: My wife lost her job earlier this year. That’s when she started losing her mind. This recession has me grinding hard. I own two homes, got 4 kids and my wife won’t even help me. I had to turn to God or else I would have snapped. You would’ve seen me on the news.

SG: Do you want her back?

Manny: I want my marriage back but it’s hard. I’m in church now and I’m meeting bad sisters, women who have it together but are single. I need a woman who is going to walk with me on this journey not criticize me while I’m on my journey. Marriage is about doing things together and right now my wife is being selfish. You know what she asked me the other day “Who are you seeing at the church cause you’re always over there.” Can you believe that?

SG: Yes, I can believe that. My parents married young. They partied together had fun. Then they had me and my mom decided she wanted to get saved. My dad had a fit. He felt like he was losing his friend, he was going to be looked down upon and judged because he still wanted to party and drink. It created a divide in their marriage. In the end someone has to relent or you’ll get a divorce. Either she is going to want her man back and start dragging her behind to church after the club or you are going accept her sinning ass.

Manny: Part of me wants to stay and the other part just doesn’t know.

SG: Maybe you need to pray on it. [laugh]

We talked for a while, Manny and I, in that lobby. The conversation went much deeper.

Its a valid fear to think that one day the person you’ve dedicated your life too is going to change. Maybe your husband/wife will wake up one morning and tell you they’re gay, a drug addict or transgender. Maybe you realize that you want to quit your job as a bank vp to become a comedian. Will they still stay by your side?

If I had to pick from all thee above, I’d be happy if my husband told me he became a born again christian. I would also feel pressure to confirm to a more religious lifestyle. Together I’m sure we can find a happy medium.

Manny is a good guy and I know he loves his wife. Hopefully she will realize this too before he ends up getting his bread buttered on both sides by Sis. Johnson.

I’m a sinner. I make no qualms about that, but I’m not as big a sinner as you’d think I am based on my writings.

I didn’t smoke weed until this year and I’m almost 30.

I only drink socially and have a cap of 2 drinks. If I have anymore than that my friends will come up to me from across the room to inspect my cup or help themselves to half of it.

I love sex but don’t have it nearly as much as I’d like. There was a period during my early 20s when I pretty much sewed up all the wild oats and more.  Now, I’m more of a “keep one man on sex reserve until I’m in a relationship” kinda girl. Every woman should have a dick reserve. It’s up to you how often you call him up for duty-weekly, monthly, bi-monthly.

Ok, perhaps I’m standing a little closer to hell than heaven but it’s nothing that abstinence and a weekly prayer circle can’t fix up.

What got me to thinking about my position with the lord was the recent wedding of my super Christian friend, Jacques.

Jacques is the son of pastors. His new wife is also the child of ministers.

Needless to say, this wedding was cleaner than Celebrity Sober House.

I sat at what I jokingly called the sinners table. We were the group of Jacques’ friends who were either single, out of wedlock parents, drinkers, smokers, bi-sexual-a really colorful bunch.

When I say this was a Christian wedding the music was provided by a praise and worship band. The “cocktail hour” was dubbed the “h’or dourves hour” during which a variety of refreshing fruit punches, lemonades and iced teas were served. I thought at least the champagne flutes would have a little taste in them. Even Jesus drank wine. Nope, we toasted with cherry 7UP.

All holiness aside, the wedding was beautiful and you could tell that the couple was starting off on a very solid foundation even though they’d been dating less than a year.

In any other situation that could have been cause for alarm or a pregnancy test but for Christians, they were right on track.

Their faith taught them that marriage is about work and surrendering your individual needs for the needs of the union. Once Jacques realized that his wife was a strong, God-fearing (what does that really mean?), caring and supporting woman that was all he needed to know. All of the hypotheticals would be answered down the line. There was no reason to test drive her or make her jump through hoops. No reason to be with her for seven years calling her his fiancée when he had no real intentions of marrying her. No reason to get her knocked up and be a baby daddy fighting over the cost of diapers.

In her, Jacques saw the blueprint of a woman that would compliment him and make his life better. This was further supported during the wedding ceremony which featured tag team officiating by the fathers of the couple.

Most weddings are done by a minister who is hired and doesn’t know the first thing about the people they are marrying. They screw up the couple’s names and go off on some tangent that makes so sense. The Christians’ (as I lovingly call the newlywed couple) vows were so moving and personal. One recurring them was the importance of them walking through life as an equal pair. The pastors asked them to face each other and take turns holding and looking at each other’s palms.

“These will be the hands that hold you up. The hands that support you. The hands that will wipe your tears. The hands that will hold your children.”

Deep.

I sat in the 4^th row thinking, “When I get married, I want my vows to sound like that.”

The words about what marriage ought to be brought me back to my own Christian upbringing: “Man and woman were created to be marry, procreate and praise God.”

I’m not living up to that statement in the least.

I do want to get married and I envy The Christians because they were able to come together devoid of the drama and baggage that most people enter a relationship with. We love to start something new with old stuff hanging over our heads.

Watching them during their first dance, it dawned on me. Getting married is easy; the problem is that most people aren’t willing to expose themselves so that they can enter a marriage.  We somehow see marriage as the end goal when it really is the beginning.

You should marry someone because you love who they are and what they can bring to your life and the union. Marriage is about the potential of a mate. It’s an investment. It takes a lifetime to see the full capabilities of a partner and often times we drag out a relationship in hopes to see every aspect of a person’s character before we feel we can marry them. What does happen is you end up in a relationship of 5 years and still don’t want to marry the person.

If you’re in a relationship and marriage or marrying that person isn’t on the front of your brain after 1 year, you are either playing around or with the wrong person.

Jacques met his wife in November 2008.

He proposed in May.

They got married last week.

]]> http://saysthesinglegirl.com/2009/a-very-christian-wedding/feed/ 15 http://saysthesinglegirl.com/2009/the-5-steps-to-marriage/ http://saysthesinglegirl.com/2009/the-5-steps-to-marriage/#comments Tue, 08 Sep 2009 05:37:55 +0000 STSG http://saysthesinglegirl.com/?p=680

During a very heated debate with Manny, we found ourselves trying to our damnedest to pin down the order in which people meet, date and marry.

After a couple drinks, some animated arguments, agreeing to disagree, here is what we came up with:

Step #1 – Dating

You’ve announced yourself as being in the market and proceed to meet and mingle with a handful of folks.

Some you see casually, maybe once or twice a month. There are folks you like more as friends than lovers. Others who you like more as lovers than friends. Then there are those in the middle. Dating is about rotation. By the middle of the first date, you can tell whether a person you’re dating or attempting to date is a homie, lover or friend.

I like to call this the Trio. The Trio is comprised of:

• Person #1 – You really really really like. Normally the one you wish you could lay in the bed with on a Sunday afternoon and do nothing. They’re sexy and a tease. You dangle at the end of their hook.
• Person #2 – You like them but its a mix of like and a great friendship. You’re not blinded by sexual feelings and get a better sense of who they really are. This is the chill person who lets you move at your own pace.
• Person #3 – They really really really like you, so much so that they pressure you for some sign of commitment. They can be somewhat jealous. You think they are cool but know you can’t give them what you want.

At some point 2 people in the TRIO always cancel themselves out. Usually its #1 and #3 and when that happens you find yourself with #2 moving into…

Step #2 – Courting

Courting: To try to gain the love or affections of, especially to seek to marry.

The fact that this was voted on as a step (a key step might I add) kinda surprised me.

Unlike women, men feel there is a huge difference between “dating” and “courting” aka “I’m seeing someone”.

At this phase a front runner has been selected and all attention and time goes toward getting to know, impress and hanging out with that person.

Another important factor: Many women don’t allow men to court them. (I’ll be writing about this next week.)

Courting is the foundation. Its crucial to laying out the roles of the relationship and revealing your core beliefs.

By the end of step #2, if you’ve found a match then you’ve moved on to…

Step #3 – Relationship

The start to any relationship is the mutual decision to no longer see other people. It’s this exclusivity that makes a relationship different from steps #1 and #2. Once you’ve made the choice to be a one woman man or one man woman here is where the real fun begins. Relationships should be where two people work on developing into something bigger but sadly for most people, step #3 is the highest level that they’ll ever reach.

“Relationships” get a bad wrap. Most people who say they’re in “relationships” are really in Step #2 masked as a relationship.

When done right, relationships result in…

Step #4 – Engagement

You’ve realized that the person you’ve made it through steps 1-3 is worth holding on to. More importantly you can’t bear to think of them being with anyone else so the natural reaction is to want to lock them down. Depending on how much time and effort was spent on steps 1-3, the duration of the engagement shouldn’t last longer that the time taken to prepare for a wedding and cleaning up any issues lingering from your single-hood (money issues, ex-lovers, commitment issues, etc). If your engagement lasts years, chances are you’ll still mentally and emotionally in step #3 but trying to justify getting married…at some point. Sidenote: I personally don’t believe that an engagement should last years. If you’ve been engaged for as long or longer than you were together but not engaged, you my friend have some thinking to do.

Step #5 – Marriage

Congratulations, you’ve made it.

- SG

(Sorry for the spotty posts…I’m working on some things.)

People who are married kill me when they try to give dating advice.
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It’s like graduating high school ten years ago and coming back to your alma mater to tell the kids what it was like when you roamed those halls. All the teachers you had either died or retired. They renovated the classrooms. You’re favorite vending machine is gone.
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Once you are out of the game that’s it. Everything you knew has been morphed into what you did to get your current spouse. Married people think that whatever worked in their case will work for all the single people in the world. What they fail to understand is that their experience is uniquely different.
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There are more single people in the world than married. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce or murder. (I’ve added the latter. Been watching too much Dateline.) If you look at the numbers, married people are in the minority. Perhaps they should rally to be considered a real minority group right along with the blacks, gays and Hispanics.

If you’ve been victim to the “know-it-all-ness” of a happily wedded person take what they say with a grain of salt. Married people can’t give you great advice about dating because chances are they haven’t dated anyone other than their boo in years.

From the time they’ve been in the dating pool, men and women have come up with a new way to date or not date, a new way to have sex with no strings attached, a new way to cheat and not get caught, and a new way to give someone mixed signals.

Women who are married are the worst when it coming to getting off their high horse. Bitch, spare me. I know why I’m single and I also know that you think just because you have a ring on your finger you think you are enlightened and can address the masses like Pope Benedict. Just because you said “I Do” doesn’t give you the authority to tell me how to date. Dating is much easy to master then say getting married and more importantly staying married. If you are married you should only be preaching about how to stay married.

Marriage can only take part between two people who want to be married. Not a lot of people want to get married until they meet that person that truly impacts their life. Some people want to get married so badly but date all the wrong people. Some folks have wanted to get married since they were kids (OK, maybe just women). Others don’t feel the wedding bug until they are settled in their careers, have created a lovely life for themselves and see all their friends walking down aisle. Getting married boils down to meeting someone who is at the same point in life as you are or damn near close to it. It’s more a game of chance and luck than anything else.

I have a married friend, love him dearly, but his solution to every problem in my single life is “Just get married…”

SG: Man, I really want to go to the movies tonight.

Married Manny: If you were married you’d always have someone to go to the movies with.

~~~~~~~~~~~

SG: What should I eat for dinner tonight?

MM: I don’t know but my wife is cooking skirt steak. Can’t wait. See if you were married you’d have someone to have dinner with every night.

~~~~~~~~~~~

MM: Are you seeing anyone?

SG: Ahh, not really. This one guy is kinda cool.

MM: Show him that you are ready to get married and see what he’s about.

SG: What makes you think I’m ready to get married?

MM: You will be once you’re tired of being alone. Just get married.

The next time your married friend tries to beat you over the head with their dating tips turn to them and say, “I appreciate the fact that you made it to the promise land but on this here side of the hill I’m making due with what there is to offer. When I get to your side of the green pasture I’ll come calling for advice.”

- STSG

Don’t ask me why but I always find myself in situations where most people would flip out. I’m at a friend’s house on the couch, enjoying their cable when it became clear to me that their roommate was getting it “IN” in the other room. Being the person that I am, I simply turned up the volume and kept it moving. Hey, I was watching “Say Yes to the Dress”. There could have been a fire in the apartment and I wouldn’t have moved until the bride to be decided between the Vera Wang and Romona Keveza.

As they got louder and louder, I turned the volume up but there was no escaping — not the sounds of lovemaking — but the squeaky ass bed! With every thrust the bed inched across the floor and landed with a bucking noise. Forget the saying “if these walls could talk”, child if that bed I heard being tortured could talk it’d be begging for mercy.

Which got me to thinking…

When you are with someone, you fail to consider the number of people who have laid in the same spot you have. How many bodily fluids have collected in the fiber quilting of their Sealy. Nor do you think about the number of times someone knocked their head on the headboard or bit the pillow you have rolled under your head as they spoon you.

It’s one thing to be at the mercy of a partner’s bed history when you two are just dating but come marriage, trust and believe, my and my future husband are going furniture shopping.

As the time comes for us to make a house into a home, some things have to happen. Some time before the wedding and after the honeymoon, my husband and I will be moving into a new home. That way no has home court advantage and this union will truly be a fresh start. Either way, these things have to be purchased:

Bed – This is the most important thing to me. Once we become husband and wife I want the comfort of knowing that I am the first and last person to rest my head in this space. I don’t have to wonder what all he did with his last woman on my side of the bed. While we’re at it, throw out all the pillows and bed sheets from our pre-wedded bliss as well. There are some things soap and water can not get out.

Couch – Where you can get vertical has to be thrown out and replaced. I don’t want to be sitting on my old couch watching a movie with my husband and get a flash back to when steamy secret lover X had me bend over the arm rest. Before I know it, I’m back there getting my hair pulled then my eyes get to rolling to the back of my head and my husband is wondering why I’m not watching the movie.

Dinnerware – Throw out all of the silverware and plates. Hell, I’m even down to toss out pots and pans. No need to have any souvenirs of past lovers and how they use to stand in the kitchen in their drawers scrambling eggs in your frying pan.

I think you get the point.

Now, I know it’s an economic depression. What if one of us owns a house and the other rents a tiny apartment? We can move into the bigger space but a complete makeover has to take place. We are painting the walls, switching rooms and possibly knocking down a wall or two.

I want a clean slate.

- SG

No marriage is perfect yet whenever we hear of infidelity we automatically assume that it is the man that is stepping out. It’s almost as if it’s acceptable.
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“Oh, he cheated. That dog. Please pass the salt.”
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But let it be a woman who cheats on her husband and she becomes lower than dirt. How dare she cheat…on a man. Women don’t cheat, they get cheated on.
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Well, let me be the first to say that if I ever get married and my husband isn’t laying it down right, I would cheat on him. I’ve long joked about this with friends but I’m kinda serious about it.

There are many reasons why people cheat and I’m not about to go into all of them, however I will tell you why I would cheat on my husband: Wack sex.

It seems like the longer you are married the less sex you have. I love sex, good sex and if my marriage was reduced to twice a month or lets skips a couple months completely…I am finding me a “lover.” I just love saying that word, “I have a lover.” I imagine he’s be exotic, smooth like Billie Dee Williams in Mahogany and cool enough to know that he is serving one need only. I don’t want the attention, to be wined and dinned. I just want sex and lots of it.

Of course, I’d give my husband an opportunity to make things better, but I have no patience and I’m sure with my cunning skills and power of manipulation I’d be able to sneak some ass on the side right in front of his face.

I know, you are shaking you head and calling me all kinds of “bitches” and whore”s but so what. It’s my marriage and no where in the bible does it say that a man and wife are only supposed to sleep with each other. And if it does say that, I haven’t seen it.

Cheating isn’t a big deal to me. I’ve been cheated on and been the cheater. I believe that cheating allows for a reality check. If you are just boy/girlfriend and one of you cheats, you should take the time to ask yourself:

1 – Why did I cheat?

2 – What is my partner not giving me that I’m seeking it elsewhere?

3 – What do I do now?

Take it from me; if you’ve been cheated on and confronted the person who betrayed you, chances are they aren’t sorry they cheated. They’re sorry they got caught. Most times when people cheat instantly they know, “That was a waste of my time. I’m much happier with what I got at home.” Then there are those who have to really think about whether they should end their relationship and continue to sow their wild oats (I never understood that saying by the way).

My girlfriends love to stone me when I start talking about how it’s not the end of the world if my boyfriend cheats but my marriage is over if my husband cheats. (Yes, I know I’m a ball of contradiction.)

If a boyfriend cheats, I would ask him to assess our relationship and decide whether we should really take it to the next level or part ways.

If a husband cheats, unless we have children the marriage is over! Why, because he made a verbal and legally binding promise to me.

When you aren’t married and in a relationship, that is purely voluntary. When you are married that is a commitment, sometimes you want to be there, sometimes you don’t. However, you vowed to be there so you have to make it last.

If you know me by now, you should know that I’m very dramatic. I don’t think I would really cheat on my husband for the same reasons why I wouldn’t want him to cheat on me. I do see marriage as being scared.

Now cheating on a boyfriend…been there, done that, might do it again.

- STSG

Originally Posted on Parlour Magazine

If people marry for love and 50% of them end up divorced perhaps we should start marrying for other reasons. I, for one, am leaning very close to marrying for money.

I recall a cool dude who told me that he wouldn’t mind if a woman was interested in him for his money and all that he could provide.

“Doesn’t bother me one bit. In fact if you are around me and you don’t want anything to do with my lifestyle I’m thinking something is wrong with you.”

“Really, so you could marry a gold digger?”

“Sure, as long as she is giving me what I want in return.”

“Like what?”

“Sex and lots of it, keep a clean house, raise kids well.”

“You won’t feel used?”

“Hell no, look I’m a man. I know what my role is and what women want. Most men who work hard do so, so that they can meet women.”

Ladies, men see right through “I don’t want you for your house, car, cash…I love you for who you are.” You might as well spit in their face for you have just insulted their ego. I don’t know why women tell this lie, mostly to themselves, as a way to prove they aren’t shallow.

Well damn it, I’m shallow! Sue me for wanting a man who has good credit, owns or plans or purchasing property, a car, no kids, and money in the bank. Men are motivated by a different beast than women. They want to be fawned over. Men live to catch attention. Women expect attention so they take it for granted.

Think of it this way, most men have low self-esteem. He works hard to dress nice, buy hot stuff, etc. He wants a woman to notice. His thinking “If I can do this for myself, baby imagine what I can do for you.” That’s the bait and we fall for it every time. Now, not all guys can live up to this. Once you’re married and start to inquire you may learn he’s in debt, a con man or living off his momma’s insurance money and rents instead of owns his mini-mansion. Do yourself a favor and check all background and financial history prior to saying “I Do”.

When I marry for money I’ll be up front and let people know it too. I won’t bore you with those super cheese romantic stories. Nah, eff that.

“SG, congrats on the engagement. You two look so happy.”

“Yup, I sure am. Girl, he got me out of debt!”

“Really?”

“Yes. I told him that if we were to get hitched there were some things I needed cleared up first. Within six months my student loans were gone.”

“Wait, do you love him or is this all about money?”

“I’d say 60% money and 40% love. Just the way it should be.”

- STSG

Folks ask me all the time, “SG what are you going to do when you start dating someone. Will you still be ’says the single girl’”?

My response: “Yes!”

“But you won’t be single” they say.

“Yes the hell I will be. You are single until you are married.”

Very few people understand what I mean by this. I’ve said it a thousand times before. Dating is an interview process. Marriage is the real commitment.

Women tend to treat a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship like a marriage and then get hurt when he decides she isn’t the one and to keep looking. Actually, women get defensive, indigent, insulted. Men take a more wait and see approach.

My aunt always told me the best time to find a man is when you have one. “SG, you got a boyfriend. That’s nice. Keep looking.”

“But auntie, he’s really sweet and fun.”

“Ok, well he can be sweet and fun but he also could be the man that will lead you to your real husband.”

I’m still testing her theory out.

I have a friend, who if judging by the way she treats her relationships has been married and divorced 3 times at the age of 29.

Her first “marriage” was to her college sweetheart. She made him dinner on her hot plate. Washed his laundry when he was cramming for finals. Borrowed her dads car to help move her bf across three states for a summer internship and back again. He was headed to Med School when he decided that it was best he focus his attention to his studies. He thanked her for being a good girlfriend. It lasted 4 years.

“Husband” #2 was from age 23-26. He was a cop, just bought a house and always talked about having kids. She was sure they would really be married one day. Basically she spent 6 out of 7 days at his place and helped him decorate. Started playing house. There was no time for friends unless he was busy and she was clueless when it came to having male friends. The only man, of any kind, in her life was the cop. She caught him cheating on her one night at his house when he told her he was out of town for the weekend.

Her last “marriage” was a quick one. He was a co-worker who liked her. She was so bitter from the failed marriages that she didn’t take him seriously. After a year of playing him, she finally smartened up but it was too late. He strung her along like she had done him.  Two years later she realized she was left empty yet again.

The trouble with my friend “the bride” is she treated each boyfriend like a husband when not every man you date is husband material. Same goes for men who treat all women like queens when really some of them are scandalous tricks.

I love to hear women go on and on about “We are in a committed relationship,” when they speak of their boyfriend and how seriously they work at it. That’s all good and well but the real commitment is when you say “I do”. So until I have an engagement ring on my finger…I am single!

-STSG