Before you charge this to the hater in me, hear me out.

A couple weeks back my site was nominated for Best Sex and Relationship Blog for this year’s Black Weblog Awards.

This morning I checked the site to see if I made the final ballot list.

I did not. 

No biggie. I’ve only been blogging for five months and have seen what was initially a weekly column turn into much more. The fact that I am able to write 3-4 new posts a weeks is enough for me to hold my head high (not to mention my wonderful relationships with ParlourMagazine.com, HelloBeautiful.com and Essence).

What did strike me about the list of finalists for my category is that all of the entries were sites run by men!

I decided to become a sex, dating and relationship blogger because I felt that there wasn’t enough representation from women on the web about what goes on in between our own legs. Yes, sometimes I am too graphic or lack the flowing proses that some may need to feel better about the dirty fantasies they have.

I am a woman and I know who I am and what I want.

As Says The Single Girl, I’ve always been clear about the fact that I am flawed, sometimes I don’t make sense and most importantly…I am not an expert!

I’ll admit I was a bit disheartened by there being no women nominated for the Best Sex and Relationship Blog. Sites were nominated by fans, sites with the most nominations made it onto the ballot. Not saying that the brothers nominated aren’t talented but perhaps women who blog about the same thing don’t get the support or following as their male counterparts for an array of reasons.

One definite possibility is  the double standard of gender. When a man talks about sex and relationships, he’s sexy, erotic, brash, humorous, real. When a woman talks about sex she’s a slut, whore, bitch, dumb, desperate — all things I’ve been called by readers.

I know of a couple women who have amazing Sex and Relationship blogs like abelleinbrooklyn.com and FunkyBrownChick.com to name a few. I’d love to find more amazing women who blog about sex and dating, love and marriage. Don’t get me wrong, some men are great at dolling out interesting viewpoints on the clash of the sexes (Shout out to the homie NakedWithSocksOn.com who was nominated several times. Folks, vote for him!). However, some male bloggers are stuck on dick jokes, airing out women and using their sites to gain bloopies (blog groupies) to add notches to their belt.

This experience has proven to me that what I do is valuable, even if no one else thinks so. Women have a voice when it comes to sex, dating and more and our voices need to be respected whether you agree with what we say or not.

I may be a woman but I can dish it out like the fellas, if not better.

- SG

Talk about double standards.

There are folks who are single, yearning to be coupled up yet scoff at the idea of dating a perfect candidate just because he or she has kids. When compared to women, men (well the ones who care) are adamantly opposed to women with kids. The baby mama can be beautiful, smart, accomplished, body banging like a benzy but once he finds out she’s given the gift of life all their hopes gets flushed down the drain.

I love my boys, gods know I do but I wanna kill ‘em dead when they get to talking -ish about how regardless of how good the woman is, if she has a child he’s gone.

One friend in particular takes the cake.

He is handsome, smart, talented and single. He wants to be in a relationship but can’t seem to stop meeting great prospects…with kids.

“Manny, how do you know God isn’t sending you a woman who has a child on purpose?”

“I know God very well, he knows what I want. SG, do you know what happens when men date a woman with kids. Six months into she’s thinking of ways to get us to marry her so her bastard child can have a daddy. She tells you to meet her somewhere to hang out. You get there and this trick is standing in front of her kids school with the spawn.”

“You really think women are that desperate?”

“Now, you know that answer to that. Hell yes. One woman, she had potential, but she gonna invite me over for dinner with her kid there. You think I want to sit at the table with her kid giving me the mean eye?”

“But Manny, maybe God wants you to be with a woman with a kid because he feels you have great father-figure qualities.”

“God is my good friend. He and I have not talked about sending me a woman with a certified used womb.”

Folks, this goes on for hours.

“Manny, let me ask you this: If Jesus can wife a whore, why can’t you wife a lady with a baby?”

Silence.

SG (reppin’ baby mamas) – 1

Manny (and all the men who would eff but never wife a Baby Mama) – 0

Women who don’t like dating baby daddies often times let it slide cause they know that most of the time the kid/s aren’t going to be in their face and the biggest problem they’ll have to deal with is a crazy baby mama. Baby daddies are much more manageable than baby mamas.

Men aren’t consumed with looking for a good woman to bring around their kids like women are with finding great replacement daddies for their kids.

I understand Manny’s concerns but I also don’t believe in cutting your nose to spite your face.

Baby mamas and daddies are people too, fertile people, but people none the less.

- SG

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