You thought you were set for life. You popped out the seeds of a NBA multi-million dollar man. You know him better than he knows himself. Your break up two years ago wasn’t anything that you thought would last forever. Then one day you get a text from him, not a phone call, in person visit but a freaking text saying “I’m getting married soon…want the kids to meet my new wife.”

Welcome to the life of Liza Morales, Lamar Odom’s ex.

Men are insensitive bastards. Their rationale: I don’t want to hurt her or get in a fight so this text will spare both of us. If you haven’t noticed, men are very passive aggressive, they hate conflict so they do stuff like send text messages or fall off the face of the earth, which in turn just makes things worse.

For Liza Morales, Lamar Odom’s ex/baby mama, news of his wedding to Khloe Kardashian must have felt like a dagger in the heart. It was reported that she threw his clothes out of her NYC apartment. I bet she went in like Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale.

Celebrity or not, Khloe and Lamar getting married after dating for one month is a shocker. I believe in love at first sight but I also believe that people get married for all of the wrong reasons. Society has devalued the sanctity of marriage and now two people who have a strong like for one another will walk down the aisle long before two people who have a real connection, deep love, children, house, car, dog and a shared bank account.

Baby mama’s always get the bad end of the deal. They’re thinking they’ve put in real time, football numbers if you will, only to be dumped and replaced with someone younger, sexier and most times kid free.

Don’t believe it, let’s look at the president of the “Baby Mama but Never a Bride” support group—Kim Porter.

Kim has been “with” Sean “I’m Never Getting Married” Combs for eons. She bore him three kids and his ghetto adopted her oldest son from Al B Sure! He dumped her for J. Lo and went back to her after J. Lo dumped him for almost getting her shot up and sent to jail.

With Ms. Fat Booty out of the picture, Kim thought that her time had come. She was on his right arm, walking red carpets even appearing on the cover of Essence to talk about their great and lasting love.

Eventually, she gave birth to twin girls in hopes of really locking it down or at least increasing her monthly child support stipend.

Did it work?

Nope.

Diddy is parading around with Cassie.

Kim loses out yet again.

I hope she learned her lesson.

Some baby mama’s really deserve the ring, keyword being “some”. Many of  them should have left long time ago but stuck it out, had more kids, dug their claws in deeper all because they didn’t want to admit that their relationship was toxic, going no where and they had spent X –number of years attached to a man that really wasn’t in it.

Whenever your ex leaves you and gets married to someone else it hurts. What hurts more than their moving on is realizing that all the time spent with you, all the I Love You’s, gifts, great sex didn’t mean enough for them to ask for your hand in marriage.

I’ve learned that when a man says he doesn’t want to get married or is afraid of commitment (going back to their passive aggressiveness) it means they don’t want to marry or commit to YOU.

As a woman with no kids, this is tough pill to swallow. Your ex that you thought you wanted to marry is gone and loving someone else. In your mind, you know you are the better woman and feel stupid for all you gave of yourself.

Take that emotion and multiply it by 1000 and that might be how a baby mama feels when her ex moves on and gets married. “How can I be good enough to be the mother of your children, but not be good enough to marry?”

Kids are nothing to play around with, which is why when folks as me why I don’t have kids I tell them, “Because I’m not married.”

For all the jilted baby mama’s of the world, this song is for you…

Talk about double standards.

There are folks who are single, yearning to be coupled up yet scoff at the idea of dating a perfect candidate just because he or she has kids. When compared to women, men (well the ones who care) are adamantly opposed to women with kids. The baby mama can be beautiful, smart, accomplished, body banging like a benzy but once he finds out she’s given the gift of life all their hopes gets flushed down the drain.

I love my boys, gods know I do but I wanna kill ‘em dead when they get to talking -ish about how regardless of how good the woman is, if she has a child he’s gone.

One friend in particular takes the cake.

He is handsome, smart, talented and single. He wants to be in a relationship but can’t seem to stop meeting great prospects…with kids.

“Manny, how do you know God isn’t sending you a woman who has a child on purpose?”

“I know God very well, he knows what I want. SG, do you know what happens when men date a woman with kids. Six months into she’s thinking of ways to get us to marry her so her bastard child can have a daddy. She tells you to meet her somewhere to hang out. You get there and this trick is standing in front of her kids school with the spawn.”

“You really think women are that desperate?”

“Now, you know that answer to that. Hell yes. One woman, she had potential, but she gonna invite me over for dinner with her kid there. You think I want to sit at the table with her kid giving me the mean eye?”

“But Manny, maybe God wants you to be with a woman with a kid because he feels you have great father-figure qualities.”

“God is my good friend. He and I have not talked about sending me a woman with a certified used womb.”

Folks, this goes on for hours.

“Manny, let me ask you this: If Jesus can wife a whore, why can’t you wife a lady with a baby?”

Silence.

SG (reppin’ baby mamas) – 1

Manny (and all the men who would eff but never wife a Baby Mama) – 0

Women who don’t like dating baby daddies often times let it slide cause they know that most of the time the kid/s aren’t going to be in their face and the biggest problem they’ll have to deal with is a crazy baby mama. Baby daddies are much more manageable than baby mamas.

Men aren’t consumed with looking for a good woman to bring around their kids like women are with finding great replacement daddies for their kids.

I understand Manny’s concerns but I also don’t believe in cutting your nose to spite your face.

Baby mamas and daddies are people too, fertile people, but people none the less.

- SG

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