Comments for ...Says The Single Girl

Comment on Do You Share Your Toys? by Les

Les — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 05:28:37 +0000

This article is so so true.. I was timid at first when I got my first bullet… but after you become in tune with your body you realize that sex is not just for the guy and its about your needs too… i love using toys with my man… believe me men will come around if they know it will get them taken care of too.. if he is insecure then that mean he is not doing what he should be doing… also your toy can do in 5 minutes what some men can’t do all night.

Comment on The Woes of Living Alone by YoungLanie

YoungLanie — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 19:24:45 +0000

I can relate to where you are coming from, Except I still stay with my parents and the same holds true for when I’m sick.

Comment on Recession Love: Let’s Shack Up by Fabulous Darling

Fabulous Darling — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 09:21:41 +0000

Very true!

After living with a guy for 6 years (no engagement – never mind marriage) I felt more like his mother than his g/friend.

My own space, became “our” space.
My daily routine was infiltrated with “his” routine.

Suffice to say, the enjoyment faded, the comfortableness set in and it was me who had to make the break.

Although I still think I would have to live with somebody before I married them? You can’t win can you! ha!

The jury is still out on this one for me…

Great blog!!!

Comment on The Wedding Invitation by Sam Sharpe

Sam Sharpe — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 19:46:54 +0000

Interesting. Maybe I’m strange, but I’m part of the wedding party for an ex. No strange feelings. No wondering what ifs. It didn’t work out, we’ve both moved on and are the best of friends. But again, maybe I’m strange.

Comment on You’re Single Until You’re Married by Mimi

Mimi — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 05:31:03 +0000

I think what constitutes acting like a wife may vary from person to person.
Having sex, having babies, buying a house together, washing, cooking, cleaning , joint accounts are all things that are considered a part of being a wife. No doubt single ladies are partaking in all of these actions, some only one or two others maybe all.
For me the key element that constitutes being a wife would be what action would live you mad as f&%k if he left you tomorrow.
Yes, I am having sex, I am not a wife, and if he left me tomorrow, well we both got ours.
Cooking, cleaning, washing, I don’t mind it, and I only do it if I feel like it.
Now if we had joint accounts and a mortgage and he were to leave tomorrow THAT’s when the problem starts!

Comment on Married People Shouldn’t Give Dating Advice by Mimi

Mimi — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 04:22:05 +0000

In SG’s case, it sounds to me that alot of the advice given might have been unwelcomed. There is nothing worse than someone telling you how to fix your ‘problem’ when you never asked them.
In the case that you are looking for some advice, then you have to know where to look. Just because someone is married does not mean that they have all the answers.
If you are looking for advice on having good experiences in the dating game, then look to your friends who are in the game who are successful at it. (or what you consider to be successful)
Same with marriage; looking for tips on a good marriage, look to a couple who you admire to dispense that advise.
Big up to all my married people giving solid advice…when asked!

Comment on “My Boyfriend” vs “My Man” by Mimi

Mimi — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 05:21:57 +0000

When the guy in the Culture center used the term ‘King-man’ he was just using typical Rastafaraian terminology.
Your man is your King and you in turn are his Queen or his Empress.

I do find it a bit weird to say boyfriend too. But until a term that I am more comfortable using comes along that’s what I’ll have to stick to because ‘my man’ as said before, just sounds So ghetto.

Comment on Are You Settling for a Black Man? by Chesyna

Chesyna — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 00:19:14 +0000

To date ANYONE that is black is NOT “lowering” one’s standards. This statement can only come from another black that IS “self-loathing.” There are LOW caliber males in every race, so please inform the sista to not get on a high-horse proclaiming that to date a black male is to “lower” HER standards. She is BLACK, her toe-tag and death certificate will reflect it this when the time comes to meet her maker. So she needs to get over herself. For if she is ‘”that quarter piece” as she states that she is, there should be no problem in her attracting “quality” black males. Maybe her attitude makes black males leery in approaching her.

Notice that she states that she turns them down. I was always told that “there ARE two sides to every coin.” I am a black female/woman and yes, there ARE some black males that I would not date if they are not of the caliber that I like. But I am wise enough not to equate a black male with his wallet, which, on the whole, I suspect the sista of doing. Sure, I like a man that has earning potential, but guess what? If he is an A-hole? “See ya!” My OWN earning power “excites” me. If he has earnings that compliment mine, no problem for I would have something to bring to the table as well should dating blossom or deepen into something more meaningful. Understand, this is why there are many women (and not just sistas) “sleepless in Seattle” because they don’t see a man. They SEE, “it IS all about me!” Good luck with that!

Final thought:

There are some black males that are not perfect or without flaws. But name a man of ANY ethnicity that is not flawless. Every black male is NOT “bad or damaged goods.” The sista openly insulted and generalized black males and needed to be “checked.” She does have issues with black males, but this does not give her a pass to chit on them. And if she believes that by openly dating white men ONLY, that this gives her a direct “advantage,” she may be in for a rude awakening one day.

If one meets or finds an indivual of low-caliber? Leave them where you found ‘emfor down the line, you may end up unhappy. It’s just that simple.

Learn…enjoy…grow and embrace life. You will not be here forever. Maintain your “bar,” but do not be so rigid that you are unwilling to flex. Inhale the essence…of another’s aura. You might be surprised. Be willing to trust and embrace others. For if you do not?

One day you might be left very well holding yourself. And THAT’s a picture I’d never want to see on a wall. Be sincere—I dare you.

Comment on The Birth Control Blues by Sinful?yo

Sinful?yo — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 20:44:03 +0000

my first experience on the pill in high school was bad. i became EXTREMELY fatigued for no reason. i literally fell asleep everywhere: on the bus, under the dryer at the salon, in class, etc. i told my doc, switched pills, and was fine.

i refused to try anything other than the pill because i’d heard horror stories about depo. when the patch and nuvaring came along i was uber-skeptical so i stuck to the pill until seasonale came along. i have the WORST MENSTRUAL CYCLES EVER so shaving a *few* off is the best option a girl like me can have. i stopped BC after my ex and i ended our relationship and i’ve heard/read criticisms of seasonale but i never had any problems and would gladly get back on it today or tomorrow :]

Comment on If You’re a Big Girl, Chances are You’re a Slut by TAHLIA CONCA

TAHLIA CONCA — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 07:59:06 +0000

I LOVE ANY GIRLS ESPECIALLY THE BIG ONES