Browsing all posts in Oh Hell No.

I’m No Longer Young and Tender

       There was a time when me and my girls would hit the club with the goal of dancing and meeting cute boys to buy our drinks. We’d prance in 3-inch heels that didn’t hurt, tight jeans that fit like a second skin and shirts that made our boobs sit up and salute. [...]

Girl, You Are Doing Too Much

I got a text other night from a homegirl who wanted to see what I could do about helping her “he’s not my boyfriend, we’re just friends” a job. INSERT SCREW FACE HERE Homegirl: Hey SG, do you know of any accounting jobs. NotMyBF is looking to get into accounting and I want him to [...]

Are you Trying to Kill Me?

One early morning, a couple weeks ago, I was awaken by a frantic phone call from a girlfriend. “SG, this dude is trying to kill me?” “Huh?” I jumped out of my stupor. “Call the police!” “No, not like bang, bang kill me. His ass is a slipper.” She’d been seeing this guy for a [...]

The Story of Jesus Whore

Dear Reader – This marks the debut of a recurring tale about a young woman (late 20s) whose fight with good and evil results in her praying to God for a man, sleeping around, repenting for her sins and starting all over again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ladies and gentlemen, this is the story of Jesus Whore. She [...]

(BAD) Pillow Talk

The following conversation is culled from several experiences. Be sure to read to yourself or others in a whisper…a sexy whisper, regardless of the context or intent of the words. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scene: Dimly lit Bedroom Time: anytime between 12am – 6am Who: Jump off couple engaging in foreplay and sex (use your own imaginations) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [...]