Browsing all posts in Oh Hell No.

I’m No Longer Young and Tender

 
  
 
There was a time when me and my girls would hit the club with the goal of dancing and meeting cute boys to buy our drinks. We’d prance in 3-inch heels that didn’t hurt, tight jeans that fit like a second skin and shirts that made our boobs sit up and salute. Forget Red Bull [...]

Girl, You Are Doing Too Much

I got a text other night from a homegirl who wanted to see what I could do about helping her “he’s not my boyfriend, we’re just friends” a job.

INSERT SCREW FACE HERE

Homegirl: Hey SG, do you know of any accounting jobs. NotMyBF is looking to get into accounting and I want him to stay [...]

Are you Trying to Kill Me?

One early morning, a couple weeks ago, I was awaken by a frantic phone call from a girlfriend.
“SG, this dude is trying to kill me?”
“Huh?” I jumped out of my stupor. “Call the police!”
“No, not like bang, bang kill me. His ass is a slipper.”
She’d been seeing this guy for a couple weeks. That night [...]

The Story of Jesus Whore

Dear Reader -
This marks the debut of a recurring tale about a young woman (late 20s) whose fight with good and evil results in her praying to God for a man, sleeping around, repenting for her sins and starting all over again.
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Ladies and gentlemen, this is the story of Jesus Whore.

She is smart, funny and [...]

(BAD) Pillow Talk

The following conversation is culled from several experiences. Be sure to read to yourself or others in a whisper…a sexy whisper, regardless of the context or intent of the words.
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Scene: Dimly lit Bedroom
Time: anytime between 12am – 6am
Who: Jump off couple engaging in foreplay and sex (use your own imaginations)
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Him: You miss me?
Her: [...]

Womb For Sale

I’m getting older and my mother wants grandbabies.
Ladies, if you thought that was pressure, imagine the added weight of your FATHER hitting you up for grand kids!
I almost crashed the car when he made this declaration as we drove to the grocery store.
Pops: I want to introduce you to Mike.
SG: Who is Mike?
Pops: He’s tall. [...]

Your Man is Gay! (VIDEO)

Ladies clutch your pearls, lay a hand on the bible or check the company your man keeps. I was told about this show last night and the Rainbow Boy who told me and a table full of ladies was insistent we go straight him and youtube it.
“It will change your life,” he assured.
Now, I’m not [...]