...Says The Single Girl » Get ‘Em Girl

Why Do Women Fear the Strip Club?

STSG — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:50:38 +0000

I have a confession: I like going to the strip club.

First time I saw the voluptuous ass of a women clapping on a stage adorned in nothing more than butt floss I stood amazed along the back wall of Magic City. It was one of the whore’s birthday’s so the runway was covered in a plastic trap. Whipped cream and chocolate sauce was everywhere. The bi-sexual sluts were having such a good time that they didn’t even care to work the room for the dirty bills clenched in the ogling men’s hands.

The time after that was in the back woods of South Carolina. Mr. Southern Comfort took me around to three levels of strip clubs: Scum buckety – where the women walked around butt ass naked, smoked cigarettes with their cat traps and squirted breast milk into the crowd. Butta Face – the pole work was good but the women weren’t cute. Classy – the women were pretty, some couldn’t dance but the atmosphere was inviting, especially for a woman.

It would be years before I stepped foot inside another strip club. It wasn’t due to lack of interest. I’ve always wanted to know what men get out of it. The problem was my guy friends didn’t want to take me. Women being paid customers at strip clubs is a fairly recent occurrence. They didn’t want to be the dude bringing sand to the beach. The types of clubs they usually went to weren’t public. There was no sign outside the door and sometimes a secret password was needed. These backdoor joints were illegal. There was definitely sex taking place.

A few months ago I returned to the strip club. So much had changed since I use to beg my Manny’s to take me. As I arrived at Sin City, I noticed that there were more women on line than men. These ladies were celebrating birthdays, bachelorette parties, Thursday night. Whatever the case might have been they were out there in droves determined to have a good time.

When I say I like going to the strip club please understand that it is less about seeing the women getting naked and more about the freedom expressed inside. It’s always entertaining to see women let loose. How many of you have seen those internet video clips of women in the male strip clubs on stage loosing their minds and sucking the strippers dick on stage in front of everyone? You know you’ve watched half disgusted, half envious.

Strip Clubs are without a doubt about the objectification of the human body. Some bodies deserve to be objectified. It’s not my place to judge the lost women who prance on stage for money. I’ve decided to applaud their hard pole routines and marvel at their strength. Holding up an hour glass frame with the your thighs while hanging upside down is not easy. There is this one chick who doesn’t take off her top and bottom. She doesn’t have to because her pole game is so sick that he easily gets the most tips when she’s on stage.

Every time I got to the titty bar I leave there promising to go to the gym. Never happens.

One thing that does happen is I imagine my life as a stripper. What would my name be? Would I be a VIP chick or a side stage performer? How much money would I make a night? I know I could dance for the cute guys but what about the ugly fat bastards that get a hard on while I’m giving them lapdances and jizz their pants? Can the dollar make me see past all that?

If you ever want a pick me up go to the strip club, look at all the wayward women selling their bodies and say to yourself “At least I haven’t hit this low.” I see the money that gets thrown on the stage and can’t help but wonder “If these women make so much money, what are they doing with it?” If I was pulling in a couple hundred dollars a night, mostly tax free…man I don’t know what I’d do or how I’d be living.

Women tend to think that strip clubs are about men cheating but not so. If your man is the type to go to the strip club, chances are he just likes to blow off steam and knows how to have a good time. Men don’t go to strip clubs to cheat. They go to fantasize. They go to treat a woman like a prostitute cause they can’t treat you like a whore so they pay another women to smack her ass and call her out her name. Nine times out of ten he’ll end up coming home and plowing the hell out of you.

Go to the strip club and instead of screw facing the broad thank them for helping you get your back blown out.

…Says The Single Girl

The Groupie Guidelines

STSG — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 14:58:57 +0000

This week is the NBA draft which means dozens of parties, hundreds of professional or soon-to-be professional athletes and thousands of groupies will descend upon New York City.

This year I’ve decided to give the ladies on a quest to snag a Baller during special events (i.e. Draft Parties, All-Star weekend, Super Bowl Weekend, etc) whether it be for one night, one week, one month or a lifetime, some tips on how to do it smart and safe.

Please note: I am not nor have I ever been a groupie. In fact I think most athletes are dumber than a box of rocks and have dirty dicks. What gives me the right to offer this guideline? My good girlfriends have mastered the game for their personal gain. I bestow their knowledge unto you…

Being Noticed

1. Looks are everything!

You don’t have to be stunningly beautiful but you must be gorgeous, well groomed and show that you are comfortable in your skin. Hair and make up shouldn’t be too over the top. You don’t want to look like a call girl. Special note, if you have fake hair make sure its done! Men are hip to weaves and lacefronts and will ask their home girl in the crew to inspect your main and come back with a verdict.

2. What to Wear

Dresses work better than pants unless you have a fat ass, in that case tight jeans or leggings may be your golden ticket. If you have big boobs you can accentuate them but don’t push them up to your chin or have aerolas showing. You don’t want to look like you have two bald men in headlocks. Whatever you choose to wear be impeccably dressed. No muffin top, lumps and bumps. Aim for smooth, straight lines and curves. You don’t have to max out your credit cards buying expensive clothes that you’re just going to return. Sure rappers talk about designer clothes in songs but 99.9% of men can’t identify designers threads.

3. The Darker You Are, The Harder Your Chances

Ballers know that special events like Draft or All-Star Weekend bring out the big game. They have the pick of the litter and usually select in this order:

A – Exotic Looking Women: knowing they are the holy grail they do little more than find a perch in the club, smile and bask in the attention.

B – White Women: never hold their hand out, are patient and like hanging out with the entourage. The understand they are the forbidden fruit and get off on that. Very bold, they know the name of the game is walking right up to the Baller and introducing themselves.

C – Latinas: practice the art of seduction. They spot the Baller and dance all sexy to catch their eye and become dance floor lesbians going for shock and awe. They aren’t afraid to advertise that they are hot in the panties.

D – Black Women: considered to be a headache at times, but if the looks are right he might go for her. Will get overlooked completely if any of the above are in the vicinity.

There’s no real science to the selection process. Sometimes Ballers switch it up but they love to go after what they normally wouldn’t be able to if not for their millions and status. There is hope for black girls. Many black Ballers will wife a black women but they love to pop off with exotic, white and Latina groupies.

Know the Rules

No one tells you how to be a groupie and often times women get played because they either said or did something that turned the Baller off.

Rule #1 – Never Ask for Money

He isn’t stupid. He knows you know he has money and want to enjoy his lifestyle. If he invited you out that means he plans on footing the bill. If you are lucky enough to stretch a one night meeting into something lasting you hopefully have gained his favor and can start to drop hints that you want your rent or car note paid. Still, asking for a blank check or a couple stacks is never a good move.

Rule #2 – Expect to Have Sex

Sex is the name of the game. If you think you are going to lock down the pussy and this multi-millionaire is just going to go along for the cat and mouse chase you are fooling yourself. You can sleep with a Baller the first night and have him comeback for more. If you don’t end up sleeping with your catch the first night, don’t worry someone else probably did. If you lay it on him, he will come back. Ballers love to have a sure thing in each city. Sex doesn’t insure anything it’s what happens before and after sex that makes the lasting impression.

Rule #3 – Don’t be a Hard Ass

Ballers are lazy and don’t want a woman, who they know is a groupie, trying to pull a fast one him. They don’t want a challenge because all of them have a real woman at home. They don’t want a headache, shit talked or drama queen. They just want an easy going escape.

Attitude is Everything

If you are positive and know that you are in this to have fun whether you get a free drink, free trip to Cancun or just a great night of hot sex with a millionaire, being a groupie shouldn’t be about plotting but a carefree adventure. Some things are for sure:

1 – You will not be spotted across a crowded club by a Baller in VIP and end up being his wife.
2 – If you want to sweeten the pot, you will end up on your back at some point.
3 – A Baller will disrespect you if you show your ass.
4 – Just because you are a groupie doesn’t mean you aren’t a lady

Happy Hunting!

***Here’s an interesting story about NBA groupies THE DAYS AND NIGHTS OF AN NBA GROUPIE. Note that these bitches are tired and never had a shot with an athlete, past, present or future.***

- STSG