“Dear SG: Small Town Girls Have It Hard”

STSG — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 05:07:53 +0000

I know this photo selection is all types of wrong! lol

Dear SG,

I read the post ”Why You Can’t Find a Good Man“. As usual the information was on point. Unfortunately, the information didn’t apply to me for the simple fact that:

1 – I did not go to college

2 – I don’t have a big shot career, although I am independent and work for my family businesses.

I am good looking and I have no problem getting men. The thing is, I don’t live in a big city like the ATL, MIA. I live in a small town in FL and all the men in my area are either in jail, taken, no good, or gay (not to mention the thug wannabes). For women like me I feel we are the ones that are truly at a disadvantage because a lot of the advice given is for women with major careers or who live is big cities. The types of man we want are nonexistent in our areas.

My question is: Do I settle or do I just get used to being single?

- Small Town Girl

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Dear Small Town Girl -

I want to be very sensitive to your situation (see I do have a heart) and didn’t want to give you a checklist of things you should do or sell you a pipe dream. I may live in a big city and my career status is questionable (keep clicking on these pretty ads and I may be able to pay my rent next month). Like you, I am single and can tell you the same problems you have finding a quality guy is the same problem all women in the world face.

What I think happens with a lot of women is that we take the Hollywood version of what dating, romance and our ideal mate should be and apply it to our lives like “If it worked for Julia Roberts it must work for me”.

Reality is there are good guys all around but don’t listen to me. For your question, I enlisted the help of Mr. Southern Comfort, who lives in a small-ish town in the south .

He raises some good points.

- SG

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Dear Small Town Girl -

Some of the things you have listed are the answer to your questions. You can’t find a man cause a good bit are in jail, gay, no good or thugged out!

In this day and time, I rejoice in the fact that a woman says they do not want a less that desirable man! So many times I spot a couple and wonder how the hell that fine ass girl is with that loser!

At any rate, the things that you have said about yourself tell me that you don’t sit idle. Small Town Girl, it’s clear you want bigger and better things for yourself. I, myself, am from a somewhat small town in South Carolina. I say somewhat because I know someone close to me that calls our state’s most citified city still country. [SG Note: That someone would be me!]

There are good men in even the smallest of towns. The same basic rule applies to women in both big cities and small town girls. Women want a man who is a stand up guy who can provide and love you.

In your case, your Mr. Big may be the guy who owns a barbershop! He might be the local firefighter or own the local mom and pop store! When you aren’t in the big city you have to learn to look past outer appearances. The man of your dreams may be a mechanic, who has grease under his nails. Should you count him out just because he smells like Pennzoil?

Another option to help in your search is a change of scenery. Maybe you should apply to grad school, a job out of state, a fellowship, anything that pays/improves you and allows you to get out of your element. When you are new to a place, it pushes you to step outside of yourself and be open. Opening up is a sure way to meet people, guys you never cared to notice before.

I hope my $0.02 helped you in some way. Don’t think any less of yourself because you are a small town girl. Just know what you are looking for might not be in the package that attracts you from jump.

If you have any other questions hit up the Single Girl. She knows how to find me!

- Mr. Southern Comfort

“I Know Why Northern Women are Single”

STSG — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 06:06:17 +0000

As a gentleman living below the Mason Dixon line, I often wonder why there are so many hot ass, upwardly mobile, driven, accomplished and financially stable women from the north. A vast majority of them being single! I mean as a young’in I used to love visiting during the summer. I’d get turned on hearing that accent and watching their swag that was oh so different than what I was used to! Now, I know I mentioned the North but when I recall these memories I’m talking specifically about the women from NEW YORK (N.Y. stand up! J).

I think that one of the reasons why Northern women are single (especially you lovely ladies in the Big Apple) is the exactly the reason that makes ‘em so damn HOT. The swag that they have puts them in the mind state that they are above and beyond women from any other region. They feel they are too good to deal with stuff ladies from the south accept.

The Big Apple is the swag capital of the world (so y’all say… I believe what Outkast says “All Funky Things Start In the South” Ha ha Yankees). Anyhow it is the place where phrases like “BALLIN” were coined. So I think that they feel they have to find a dude that is Ballin’ and all that jazz. They over look a dude who may work hard but doesn’t have as much as the baler. This non-balling dude could treat them like a queen and she could be very happy with him.

Granted, when you live in a city where you can party like it’s New Year’s Eve every night, see someone drive a Bentley or Lamborgini like how I see pick up trucks you expect a certain level of Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous. Yankee girls, you’ve convinced yourself that is normal. I can tell you this…that is not normal.

Another reason why northern ladies are single ladies: They are ballin’ on their own. How can a woman who works hard, spends her money on all the lavish things she wants and refuses in practicing the fine art of “taking care of home” supposed to fit a good man in her life? With her status comes the attitude of “I can do it myself” or “I want it done this way!”

We have women down her who get paper but better believe when they come home from a long days work they don’t think twice about doing something that show they can and want to take care of their man cause they know he will take care of her. It’s not a tit for tat. Southern women know their role and we southern gentlemen handle ours.

Their standards are so high that most of the dudes they come across don’t meet them. Most guys don’t even get the chance! More times than not, the man they are holding out for doesn’t even exist.

You northern ladies need to come down south and get some of what we cookin’ down here. If you don’t believe me then ask that home girl or cousin that went to school down south and ain’t neva come back. That’s that southern comfort ladies, gon and get ya some. It will change ya life.

Well if you northern ladies have any questions or comments about why y’all don’t have a man y’all let my girl SG know and she will let me know.

Till next time…

- Mr. Southern Comfort

...Says The Single Girl » Mr. Southern Comfort

“Dear SG: Small Town Girls Have It Hard”

“I Know Why Northern Women are Single”