If you’ve noticed I haven’t been writing much lately.

I have a couple things to take care of before I can get back in to the swing of things.

Someone broke into my house last week, while I was home!

I’m applying for jobs.

I’m seeing someone.

My mother brought me a scale so now I’m working out.

And most importantly, I don’t want to sound like a love hater, man basher or bitter bitch, which is why I’m writing stories and less opinion.

The cast of characters I have, from the many Mannys to Jesus Whore, will keep you glued to the screen.

Just be patient.

Love

…Says The Single Girl

This makes me laugh.

Let me learn how to do graphics and I’d put my own spin on this.

- SG

From time to time, I get letters from readers wanting a man’s advice. I can only do but so much. It’s like being the single mother of a young boy. At the end of the day, she’s not a man and can only teach her son but so much.

SO…I’m looking for some men who are interested in answering some of these letters as well as survey questions that come up.

If you are interested please submit the following to singlegirlnotes(at)gmail.com:

Age:

Relationship Status: (be honest)

City, Location:

Favorite Thing about Being Single/Dating/Married:

The one thing you wish women understood about men:

Why I should let you be a STSG Male Voice of Reason:

I look forward to hearing from you.

If you are cute, I may post your pic as well.

- STSG

Before you charge this to the hater in me, hear me out.

A couple weeks back my site was nominated for Best Sex and Relationship Blog for this year’s Black Weblog Awards.

This morning I checked the site to see if I made the final ballot list.

I did not. 

No biggie. I’ve only been blogging for five months and have seen what was initially a weekly column turn into much more. The fact that I am able to write 3-4 new posts a weeks is enough for me to hold my head high (not to mention my wonderful relationships with ParlourMagazine.com, HelloBeautiful.com and Essence).

What did strike me about the list of finalists for my category is that all of the entries were sites run by men!

I decided to become a sex, dating and relationship blogger because I felt that there wasn’t enough representation from women on the web about what goes on in between our own legs. Yes, sometimes I am too graphic or lack the flowing proses that some may need to feel better about the dirty fantasies they have.

I am a woman and I know who I am and what I want.

As Says The Single Girl, I’ve always been clear about the fact that I am flawed, sometimes I don’t make sense and most importantly…I am not an expert!

I’ll admit I was a bit disheartened by there being no women nominated for the Best Sex and Relationship Blog. Sites were nominated by fans, sites with the most nominations made it onto the ballot. Not saying that the brothers nominated aren’t talented but perhaps women who blog about the same thing don’t get the support or following as their male counterparts for an array of reasons.

One definite possibility is  the double standard of gender. When a man talks about sex and relationships, he’s sexy, erotic, brash, humorous, real. When a woman talks about sex she’s a slut, whore, bitch, dumb, desperate — all things I’ve been called by readers.

I know of a couple women who have amazing Sex and Relationship blogs like abelleinbrooklyn.com and FunkyBrownChick.com to name a few. I’d love to find more amazing women who blog about sex and dating, love and marriage. Don’t get me wrong, some men are great at dolling out interesting viewpoints on the clash of the sexes (Shout out to the homie NakedWithSocksOn.com who was nominated several times. Folks, vote for him!). However, some male bloggers are stuck on dick jokes, airing out women and using their sites to gain bloopies (blog groupies) to add notches to their belt.

This experience has proven to me that what I do is valuable, even if no one else thinks so. Women have a voice when it comes to sex, dating and more and our voices need to be respected whether you agree with what we say or not.

I may be a woman but I can dish it out like the fellas, if not better.

- SG

You will be missed!

Rest in Peace

Not for a long time have I been so moved by someone’s music but the new Maxwell album takes me back to my younger hopeless romantic days when I’d lay in the bed in the dark listening to a track on repeat thinking about the man in my life. Then there were the times when I’d play a whole album and it’d be my soundtrack for love making. I still can’t listen to Raheem Devaughn’s Love Experience without my eyes rolling to the back of my head. I broke my bed during this song…

Ohhh Weeee.

I feel that way again thanks to Maxwell. Not only can he get the bizness but he makes me want to give the bizness to someone–a night of passion, heat, sweat…oh lord, I think I just got pregnant.

That’s all I have to say about that!

- SG

]]> http://saysthesinglegirl.com/2009/maxwell-makes-me-wanna-sweat/feed/ 10 http://saysthesinglegirl.com/2009/who-issays-the-single-girl/ http://saysthesinglegirl.com/2009/who-issays-the-single-girl/#comments Mon, 18 May 2009 17:05:09 +0000 STSG http://saysthesinglegirl.com/?p=397

In the three months since this site launched some folks still haven’t figure out what STSG is all about. For all of you who get me, thanks. For those who are still scratching your heads, give it time.

With that said, I figured I’d write a little synopsis…

Who is…Says the Single Girl?

I never claimed to be an expert. That’s were a lot of dating and relationship bloggers get it wrong. I write about topics that come up with my girlfriends, the many men I‘ve dated or my brutally honest homeboys (who I group together under the character Manny).      

What a lot of so-called relationship columnist aim to do is save you. They put on a red cape and think the words they write will make your life better. Not the case with …Says The Single Girl.

What I do is present a different way of viewing things. I say what you wish you could. With STSG it is what it is.

Being a woman of color in the dating blogging game I‘m determined not to sell a bill of goods or ask my reader’s to join hands or get on our knees and pray for marriage, the white picket fence and 2.5 kids.

I never question why we are single. I know why I‘m single. I‘m single because I‘m not ready to do the things that make it easy for a man to be in my life. I‘m a little dramatic, not quite ready to play house, and like variety. It took me a long time to discover that answer. I implore you to do that same.

If you’ve stumbled across …Says the Single Girl in hopes of befriending an Amen Choir, keep looking.

What you won’t find here is my sob story, tales of my dates gone wrong or love lost.

You are going to love me one day, hate me the other, wish you had my “balls” the next and call me out in the street for a brawl on another.

I will guarantee this, you will be entertained!

- STSG

BIG NEWS!! You can now catch STSG on HelloBeautiful.com every Monday and Wednesday.

For as long as there has been women on earth, we’ve always tried to find way to make ourselves more beautiful. Whether it was crushing roses to make blush or fashioning corsets from animal bone for a slimmer waist; women have no limit for achieving beauty.

However, not all things are for all people.

One of those things…

Lace Front Wigs.

I can’t walk past one beauty parlour in the hood without seeing some stenciled sign that reads:

WE DO LACEFRONTS

It’s funny how a year ago the gossip blogs had us gagging over Beyoncé and Lady Baby Hair’s lacefronts.

We’d say to our friends, “Girl, with all that money they got, you mean to tell me they can’t get a better wig.”

Well now the shoe is on the other foot.

The common woman is getting a wig full of hair glued to her scalp. Most of them look plain crazy.

I’m also hearing that in order to achieve this look some women are SHAVING their own natural hairlines in order to apply the lacefront smoothly.

Is it that serious?

Forgive me for liking a man to run his finger through my hair and touch scalp without me pulling away for fear he finds a track. It’s about to be summer time and who wants a half pound of European straight sitting on their head like a hat?

I say all this to say:

This isn’t just about fake hair. It’s about our insecurities and the way in which we show them. Don’t get me wrong, not all women who wear fake hair are insecure. But a lot of you are.

Women, love and accept who you are (hair or no hair) because that is the only way you will find someone who will do the same.

- STSG

This pretty much sums up my weekend.

Give me a couple hours to adjust and I’ll have some new stuff up shortly.

(sidenote: google “drunk, black, girl, woman” and you’d be amazed at all the porn that comes up. this was the best pic I could find…SMH)

- SG

A Single Girl, Not "The Single Girl"

Some of you know who I am.

Some of you are stumbling across me for the first time.

Simply put, I’m not an expert or a web whore looking for fame and fortune.

I am the Single Girl and these are my views on relationships, dating, sex and porn (ok, i kid with the last part although i do watch from time to time).

…Says The Single Girl started last year on PARLOUR MAGAZINE as a weekly column.

Now, SG (Single Girl) is proud to announce the launching of …SaysTheSingleGirl.com.

All Single Girl, all the time.

For the next couple weeks, in order to accomodate my faithfrul readers and the newbies, I’ll be posting some old columns along with some new ones.

Tell a friend, follow me on one of the many social networking sites i’m apart (look to the left) and most importantly share your two cents.

- luv SG