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The Key To Happiness: Knowing When To Move On

I can’t lie to you.

I’m definitely in a transitional period in my life.  I even was considering the dramatic act of cutting all my hair off, Caesar-style. I told my friends about this. The women all understood. For some reason, women always turn to the scissors in hopes of “getting a fresh start”. Manny thought I was being extra.

Well, I didn’t cut my hair off BUT…I am moving forward. It’s the season for it, don’t you agree?

While shifting through all of my “issues” I realized something…

Most people like to wear their issues on their sleeves, tormenting themselves and all those who see it. For some reason, we often feel like we have to “fix” everything, even when we know it is beyond repair.

This is especially true when it comes to relationships.

Answer the following question honestly:

Have you ever ended a relationship at the exact moment you felt it was over?

Take to the comments section to answer.  I bet 90% will say, no.

The reason: Many of us like to punish ourselves. We like to feel like we have to “stick it out”, “make it work”, etc, blah blah blah.  I’m not saying that you should run at the first sign of trouble but you know when 2 + 2 is no longer = 4. You get that gut feeling in your stomach. You confide in your best friend. You start to look at your partner differently;  with disgust, disdain.

Manny had been off and on with his girlfriend of 4 years. Each time we talked about the shortcomings of their relationship it was the same three things:

1 – She wasn’t a good communicator

2 – She wasn’t into sex/good in bed

3 – Her mother controlled her life

[Of course, since this was coming from Manny, I have no idea with her issues with him were.]

Each time she promised to work on things. At first, there would be an improvement: more talk, more head, less references to mommy dearest. Weeks would pass and slowly she would return to her old habits.

Finally, tired of hearing the same story I asked him:  Why are you with her if it’s clear that this is who she is.

Manny: I love her.

STSG: Well, let me be the first to tell you, you can love someone and NOT be with them. At some point you have to love yourself more and MOVE ON.

Moving on is the greatest gift you can gift yourself.

Unhappy with work, friends, family, a relationship? Accept it for what it is. You can’t fix everything or everyone. More importantly, you shouldn’t suffer or feel like a failure because it didn’t work. Take the lessons you learned, use them to become a better person and…MOVE ON!

…Says The Single Girl

14 Responses to “The Key To Happiness: Knowing When To Move On”

  1. It’s like you’re psychic! This could not have come at a better time! Break up’s suck but it’s time for me to respect myself and move on. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

  2. i like ur last paragraph.it’s helping me.I m having a difficult time in my life with work and friends.thanks!

  3. I seriously had the hair cutting thought just recently. It actually spurred me to start my blog.

    I admittedly am bad at ending it when I should. Instead I usually just focus my attention on a different guy while the other relationship just sort of fizzles. Horrible, I know.

  4. Wow! I love this. I am at a turning point in my life where I need to let go of some friends that are no longer on the same path I’m on. Difficult to do but necessary. Thanks for the encouraging words!

  5. Thank you for this post! It came right on time for me. I’m struggling with the decision to move on from a 6 year relationship and I have to say I’m scared out of my mind. But your encouraging words are making it just a little bit easier.

  6. Excellent article, change is scary, but being miserable and unhappy is even scarier.

    Thank you too for the reminder

  7. Ugh. I so needed to read this right now!

  8. “Moving on is the greatest gift you can gift yourself”

    It was the hardest decision I have had to make in a long time

    But now….I have just come to this realization….and I’m actually happy- very happy.

    Great post- thanks for sharing!!!

  9. i can relate to the article…it’s kind of hard to just move on…but sometimes its even harder just to stay…i dont know what i want to do….smh

  10. This is a great post. Truly.

    Short & to the point. The way the conversation should be.

    However, it’s much easier said than done.

    But yes, love & happiness are two VERY different things. Having this exact conversation with myself, a lot these days.

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