Recession Love: Let’s Shack Up
I always considered moving in with someone to be monumental. For starters I don’t really see myself living with a boo before marriage, possibly during an engagement but no sooner than that. Sure, couples move in together all the time; many of them with no intentions on getting wed. Still, I can’t downplay shacking up and what it means to me.
Now that we’re essentially all tittering on the verge of poverty, the thought of co-habitating for the sole purpose of splitting the bills has entered my mind. Now that I’m dating the topic comes up all the time.
When discussing my status “do you live together” is easily in the top 3 questions asked somewhere in the mix with “how long you two been together” or “what’s his name”? Even though I’m attached there is a part of me that still thinks like a single woman. Its like on Living Single when Kyle and Max started dating. They had to remind her she was with him. I’m not that bad but close. Perhaps I should have named this blog “Until I get Married” like the homie Jozen, keeping it nice and broad, not offending anyone I date.
Back to living together…
There are two types of people in the world: those who believe you should live with a mate before marriage in order to truly see if they are the one and those who don’t. Think back when your parents were our age. Folks met, dated and married in less than 2 years. Months into it they knew this was their future spouse and they hadn’t even had oral sex or hit the backdoor yet alone live together. Still they knew…
My friend Farrah has lived with every single boyfriend she’s had, starting in college. Four boyfriends (and one girlfriend) later, she sees herself moving in with the next love of her life.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever get married so why not play house. If the relationship works and he proposes at least we’ve established a routine that works in our household.”
After living with her bf of 6 years for 4 years, Talia vowed to never do it again.
“I moved across the country for my ex. He was sweet about it. We went apartment hunting. I decorated. He brought me a car but after 4 months all the newness was gone and he thought he had a live in maid. I mean he stopped being a boyfriend and became a brat.”
Living together has become more an act of convience than careful planning. Whenever I think about shacking up one truth strikes me to my core, shaking the daydream from my head:
When you move in with someone the only way for you to no longer live with them is to break up. Period end of story.
You can’t just wake up one day and say “Boo, its been great living with you these last two years but I’m tired of smelling your farts in bed and wiping down the toilet seat every single time I go to use the bathroom cause you’ve dripped all over it. I love you, want to be with you but I’m moving out.”
You might as well had said “I’m cheating on you; it’s over.”
I had two friends who shacked up – one male and one female. When both of me told me they were moving out of their respective apartments shared with their significant others my intial response was: “Is everything ok?”
They both proclaimed their relationships were great and this was just about space…blah, blah, blah.
Within weeks both their relationships were over.
While the poor person in me can justify living with my boo for financial gain the realist in me is banging pots and pans to wake poor me up before I make a big mistake.
…Says the Single Girl