My Mother is Ready For Grandkids (Help Me & My Uterus!)

Baby Bib

Lately, my mother has been feeling deprived. My new hectic schedule is causing me to see/talk to her less, which is why I get phone calls like this:

SG: Hey Mom.

Mom: Hey, you know I’ve been thinking. Next time you go food shopping get some kale. I know you aren’t eating right.

SG: Hey Mom. What’s up?

Mom: I just read in O Magazine that most young women don’t balance their finances. Are you watching your money?

Then one day she hit me with this:

Ring, ring, ring

SG: Hey Mom!

Mom: SG, you don’t have to tell me the answer but I was thinking. [Dramatic pause.] If you had an abortion would you tell me?

SG: [Dumbfounded.] It depends on the circumstances. If it was now I doubt I would have an abortion but if it was when I was a teenager I don’t know. And for the record I’ve never had an abortion. I’ve never been pregnant.

Mom: You don’t have to tell me if you have or not.

SG: I understand that but I haven’t. And what made you think about this?

Mom: You know, me and your father are getting older and I thought to myself, ‘What if we could have already been grandparents.’. Then I got to thinking that you are almost 30 and you don’t seem like you are anywhere near starting a family.

Lord have mercy on my soul.

Here I am thinking that all this time I’ve spend going to school, getting a degree, using protection so that I wouldn’t fall victim to being a statistic and my mother is on the phone alluding to the fact that she might be happier if I had pushed out a seed already.

My number one reason for not having kids is simple: I’m not married.

It may work for other folks but I’m not pushing a live out of this vah-jean until I’ve had a wedding, cut the cake and moved in together. (Oh yes, I don’t believe in living together before marriage either and recently caught some flack for that. I will me writing about that soon.)

Ideally, I would love to have had children already. I don’t want to be a new mom at 40. In a perfect world I would have been married and working on my second kid already.

While I may be childless and unmarried I take great pride in not ever being pregnant before. I had a scare once in college, freshman year. I was so worried I called my mom who calmed me down. I hadn’t even taken a test but I was convinced I was knocked up. I spend an entire weekend in my room depressed listening to Lauryn Hill’s “Zion”.

Turns out I wasn’t preggo just stressed out by finals. My period came a week later and my mother and I never talked about it since. Since then I’ve been on birth control and off and now that I am getting older children are in the back of my mind.

“Well SG, you know that when you get older it’s harder to have children.  After 35 the risk of down syndrome and autism is higher.”

“Gee, thanks mom.”

9 Responses to “My Mother is Ready For Grandkids (Help Me & My Uterus!)”

  1. When I was in college I got my belly button pierced on a whim one weekend. I came home and told my mother about it. In responds I got…”Oh lord, How are you going to have children now!”. I was like I’m 20 and not trying to have kids now…and mom….it closes back up. I think she thought my baby would spill out or something. Never knew till that moment how much my mom wanted ME (my mom has 6 kids and like 7 grandkids by her boys at that time) in particular to have a kid. BTW, I have a son and want more kids but waiting for the ring….but since I’ll be 30 in October, your mom has me panicking with that last one.

  2. If these aren’t my thoughts projected on to the screen… mom throws blatant hints and I firmly remind her that she isn’t getting grandkids from me unless there’s been a wedding. Even my dad just up and said, “Well I’d like to be a granddad one day..” and that’s fine but until you walk me down an aisle you can hang that thought up. Parents just don’t want to understand seemingly….

  3. It seems my Grandma is on that train too…. She has asked me within the last 2 visits I had with her its ” Nena when are you having kids” I know I am 31 going to be 32 in Jan but helloooo When that ring comes on my finger then I’ll be on the baby train until then Vacation, work, enjoy life is the train I am riding… Interesting Blog

  4. well, I’m 30 and married, and there is one reason and one only why I don’t have kids (and I’m not planning on getting pregnant, and we both agree on this even though my mom also wants grandkids): we are not happy in our marriage and it would be incredibly selfish to bring a kid in an unstable environment. I want to have kids with someone who wants to raise the kids the same way i do (before marriage make sure you know the person not only wants a family, but know HOW he wants to raise that family because when you both disagree on that it is a huge issue…and it’s worse if you found out about that when you already have kids) even if things don’t work out between me and my man, i want to have that assurance that we are both as adults on the same level, and that we both are mature enough to put as priority the well-being of the kids. Because you are gonna have to interact with the father of your child, no matter what for the rest of the child’s life, so it is not just as simple as, “i will have kids once i get married” because marriage and having kids are two totally different things, and both are really difficult to manage.

  5. I completely understand how you feel. I’m not in my 30′s yet and my mom is already trying to set me up and she already has grand kids by my other siblings. I’ll have to live under a rock in my 30′s. I swear she’ll do an all out campaign and publicly ask people in the church to pray on it. …yes the lord will have mercy on my soul.

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