My Mother is Ready For Grandkids (Help Me & My Uterus!)
Lately, my mother has been feeling deprived. My new hectic schedule is causing me to see/talk to her less, which is why I get phone calls like this:
SG: Hey Mom.
Mom: Hey, you know I’ve been thinking. Next time you go food shopping get some kale. I know you aren’t eating right.
SG: Hey Mom. What’s up?
Mom: I just read in O Magazine that most young women don’t balance their finances. Are you watching your money?
Then one day she hit me with this:
Ring, ring, ring
SG: Hey Mom!
Mom: SG, you don’t have to tell me the answer but I was thinking. [Dramatic pause.] If you had an abortion would you tell me?
SG: [Dumbfounded.] It depends on the circumstances. If it was now I doubt I would have an abortion but if it was when I was a teenager I don’t know. And for the record I’ve never had an abortion. I’ve never been pregnant.
Mom: You don’t have to tell me if you have or not.
SG: I understand that but I haven’t. And what made you think about this?
Mom: You know, me and your father are getting older and I thought to myself, ‘What if we could have already been grandparents.’. Then I got to thinking that you are almost 30 and you don’t seem like you are anywhere near starting a family.
Lord have mercy on my soul.
Here I am thinking that all this time I’ve spend going to school, getting a degree, using protection so that I wouldn’t fall victim to being a statistic and my mother is on the phone alluding to the fact that she might be happier if I had pushed out a seed already.
My number one reason for not having kids is simple: I’m not married.
It may work for other folks but I’m not pushing a live out of this vah-jean until I’ve had a wedding, cut the cake and moved in together. (Oh yes, I don’t believe in living together before marriage either and recently caught some flack for that. I will me writing about that soon.)
Ideally, I would love to have had children already. I don’t want to be a new mom at 40. In a perfect world I would have been married and working on my second kid already.
While I may be childless and unmarried I take great pride in not ever being pregnant before. I had a scare once in college, freshman year. I was so worried I called my mom who calmed me down. I hadn’t even taken a test but I was convinced I was knocked up. I spend an entire weekend in my room depressed listening to Lauryn Hill’s “Zion”.
Turns out I wasn’t preggo just stressed out by finals. My period came a week later and my mother and I never talked about it since. Since then I’ve been on birth control and off and now that I am getting older children are in the back of my mind.
“Well SG, you know that when you get older it’s harder to have children. After 35 the risk of down syndrome and autism is higher.”
“Gee, thanks mom.”