Will Your Man Take Your Last Name?
Have you heard? Jay-z may be taking Beyonce’s last name. Something about since her father has no boys the name won’t be passed on. I say to that…Papa Knowles has a paternity suit pending so before Jay files for a new last name, he should see the result of that dna test. There might be a little boy walking crawling around with Beyonce’s name as you read this.
I find it interesting how attached people are to their name. I have some girlfriends who refuse to change their last name when they wed. They view it as archaic. Taking on a man’s last name like you’re his property is so old fashion.
A few years back I read an interesting article in the New York Time about couple who created their own last names. Whether it was hyphened or a complete mash up of their names, they agreed that their identity should be a merge and not a man claims all.
Oh, forgot to mention they were all white.
I don’t know how I feel about taking on a new name. I love my name. It has a nice ring to it: Single Girl. Now imagine I get married: Single [His Last Name Here]. Yeah, not so sure about that.
If I have a tad bit of a problem accepting this, you know (black) men aren’t going for it.
“Jay should change his name to Beyonce’s,” said my west coast Manny.
“Because he owes everything that’s happened to him since 2002 to her.”
“Would you change your last name to your wife’s?”
“Because…I have a father.”
“My father didn’t have his dad in his life,”continued Manny. “All throughout my childhood he would always say “You’re a [His Last Name] you can do anything because you are a [His Last Name].’ My dad took great pride in our name so I can’t give that up.”
“So could you hyphenate?”
“No, I’m a traditionalist. Its my name or nothing.”
That’s a big ultimatium. Marriage is all about compromise. I down for legally changing my name but I told myself many years ago that if I were to get married after having already establishing myself in my career I would keep my maiden name publically. On my liscense, bills, etc it would be my married name but in the streets, board room call me SG.
Another thing, I’m bougie when it comes to my name. If my future husband has a wack ass last name that throws off my whole shit…I can’t. One former beau of mine had an ok name. But when we played around with my first name and his last name, no mas. Something you ordered at the deli.
He gave me to ok to keep my maiden name, no hyphenation. This was our 2nd week together. Bahhhaaa. Men think more about their last name than we think about taking it. No matter how much they deny, all men see the name change as putting their stamp of approval on a woman. You can weasle out of being with a tried ass woman.
“You dude, I saw your girl in the club juggling some dude’s balls with her tongue.”
That’s nothing compared to:
“You dude, I saw your WIFE talking to a man at the bus stop.”
As the carrier of his name, you are the mother-to-be of his legacy. You are a walking billboard, a reflection of him at all times. This is why so many men make their women go through the ringer before marriage cause they are waiting for that woman that won’t bring shame to their name. Mind you, they can do all types of shit, but in their mind its never a reflection of you.
…Says the Single Girl