Where My Girls At: Why Don’t Women Sex Bloggers Get Any Love?


Before you charge this to the hater in me, hear me out.

A couple weeks back my site was nominated for Best Sex and Relationship Blog for this year’s Black Weblog Awards.

This morning I checked the site to see if I made the final ballot list.

I did not.  :-(

No biggie. I’ve only been blogging for five months and have seen what was initially a weekly column turn into much more. The fact that I am able to write 3-4 new posts a weeks is enough for me to hold my head high (not to mention my wonderful relationships with, and Essence).

What did strike me about the list of finalists for my category is that all of the entries were sites run by men!

I decided to become a sex, dating and relationship blogger because I felt that there wasn’t enough representation from women on the web about what goes on in between our own legs. Yes, sometimes I am too graphic or lack the flowing proses that some may need to feel better about the dirty fantasies they have.

I am a woman and I know who I am and what I want.

As Says The Single Girl, I’ve always been clear about the fact that I am flawed, sometimes I don’t make sense and most importantly…I am not an expert!

I’ll admit I was a bit disheartened by there being no women nominated for the Best Sex and Relationship Blog. Sites were nominated by fans, sites with the most nominations made it onto the ballot. Not saying that the brothers nominated aren’t talented but perhaps women who blog about the same thing don’t get the support or following as their male counterparts for an array of reasons.

One definite possibility is  the double standard of gender. When a man talks about sex and relationships, he’s sexy, erotic, brash, humorous, real. When a woman talks about sex she’s a slut, whore, bitch, dumb, desperate — all things I’ve been called by readers.

I know of a couple women who have amazing Sex and Relationship blogs like and to name a few. I’d love to find more amazing women who blog about sex and dating, love and marriage. Don’t get me wrong, some men are great at dolling out interesting viewpoints on the clash of the sexes (Shout out to the homie who was nominated several times. Folks, vote for him!). However, some male bloggers are stuck on dick jokes, airing out women and using their sites to gain bloopies (blog groupies) to add notches to their belt.

This experience has proven to me that what I do is valuable, even if no one else thinks so. Women have a voice when it comes to sex, dating and more and our voices need to be respected whether you agree with what we say or not.

I may be a woman but I can dish it out like the fellas, if not better.

- SG

6 Responses to “Where My Girls At: Why Don’t Women Sex Bloggers Get Any Love?”

  1. I think what happens is most women like to hear about relationships from a male point of view because for whatever reason their opinions are valued more over their girlfriends. Not sure why this is the case, but I would say that women like to know what goes on in the male brain from the male because though our girlfriends try as they may can’t figure out the species of men.

  2. I think that people tend to go more for the man’s blog is because a womans opinion tends to be viewed as having an emotional answer to topics of sex. However I did a special edition for INTRO called “The Black Edition” where I talked about the Male Orgasm and Performing Oral Lovemaking on a woman. I actually got a lot of respect from male readers.

  3. Hey– while I was nominated by a reader and would have loved to be a finalist. I think the real judgment on the “love” is what you can do with the project. Awards are great, but I don’t know any sex and relationships blogger who is doing this SOLELY to share. The goal is to make a living and a lifestyle off of your passion. I think that several woman-bloggers who may not have been finalists have achieved that. An award or becoming a finalist is one way of defining success, there are others. My blog got me… a lot. I feel successful and not at all slighted that the S&R blog finalists were men.

    What you do is valuable. VERY. You’ll gain your recognition in your own way in your time.

    I’m happy for Socks. He EARNED those nods.

  4. Personally, I like your blunt voice, but that’s just me. I think for some women, it’s an adjustment to accept such frank comments about sex and dating.

    Echoing Belle’s statements: You started this because you were passionate about it and you’re doing a great job! Keep it up! In time, the rest will follow.

  5. I agree completely with Ms. Cocoa Luv. When I told my best friend I was starting a blog she read it and was like “oh its cute but it’s not something I would follow. “When I asked why she was like well I don’t really want to hear what you have to say. I’d rather learn about what a man thinks, so I can understand them (read: catch one).

    And I definitely understand where you are coming from. Especially when some of the S&R finalists, write about S&R only 20% of the time- at least let that be your specialty if you’re getting nominated for it.

    But PMS loves what you do so keep up the good work!

  6. I’m at most a lurker and don’t really say much. However, I like your blogs and NWSO but I voted for you!

Leave a Reply