Where My Girls At: Why Don’t Women Sex Bloggers Get Any Love?
Before you charge this to the hater in me, hear me out.
A couple weeks back my site was nominated for Best Sex and Relationship Blog for this year’s Black Weblog Awards.
This morning I checked the site to see if I made the final ballot list.
I did not.
No biggie. I’ve only been blogging for five months and have seen what was initially a weekly column turn into much more. The fact that I am able to write 3-4 new posts a weeks is enough for me to hold my head high (not to mention my wonderful relationships with ParlourMagazine.com, HelloBeautiful.com and Essence).
What did strike me about the list of finalists for my category is that all of the entries were sites run by men!
I decided to become a sex, dating and relationship blogger because I felt that there wasn’t enough representation from women on the web about what goes on in between our own legs. Yes, sometimes I am too graphic or lack the flowing proses that some may need to feel better about the dirty fantasies they have.
I am a woman and I know who I am and what I want.
As Says The Single Girl, I’ve always been clear about the fact that I am flawed, sometimes I don’t make sense and most importantly…I am not an expert!
I’ll admit I was a bit disheartened by there being no women nominated for the Best Sex and Relationship Blog. Sites were nominated by fans, sites with the most nominations made it onto the ballot. Not saying that the brothers nominated aren’t talented but perhaps women who blog about the same thing don’t get the support or following as their male counterparts for an array of reasons.
One definite possibility is the double standard of gender. When a man talks about sex and relationships, he’s sexy, erotic, brash, humorous, real. When a woman talks about sex she’s a slut, whore, bitch, dumb, desperate — all things I’ve been called by readers.
I know of a couple women who have amazing Sex and Relationship blogs like abelleinbrooklyn.com and FunkyBrownChick.com to name a few. I’d love to find more amazing women who blog about sex and dating, love and marriage. Don’t get me wrong, some men are great at dolling out interesting viewpoints on the clash of the sexes (Shout out to the homie NakedWithSocksOn.com who was nominated several times. Folks, vote for him!). However, some male bloggers are stuck on dick jokes, airing out women and using their sites to gain bloopies (blog groupies) to add notches to their belt.
This experience has proven to me that what I do is valuable, even if no one else thinks so. Women have a voice when it comes to sex, dating and more and our voices need to be respected whether you agree with what we say or not.
I may be a woman but I can dish it out like the fellas, if not better.