Particularly-maybe, uhm- daddy issues, self esteem issues, abandonment issues, life handling issues to name a few. I suppose when our own bags are filled to the brim with the dirty things we all seem to experience one way or another, we shouldn’t try some heavier lifting, especially if we know we are not built like that and don’t have the stamina nor grace to deal with another human being’s “luggage”.

Issues are no more than life compiling, and we should feel so blessed that regardless of what someone has gone through that they still found the strength and faith to love us. To love IMPERFECT us. Because I can go on and on about someone’s issues that I was involved with and blame them ALL day when it doesn’t work out. But the bottom line is the common denominator is YOU. And throughout your entire diatribe about this mentally challenge man who you suggested professional help to, I see no mention of you? No mention of your dirty things, you cumbersome carry on…hmmmm….

Are you the type of person to shut down, turn off your phone, avoid, avoid, avoid? Are you the type of person that thinks saying you love someone is no more than a line from “Breakfast at Tiffany”? Are you a Holly Golightly type? Move in quickly, move on quickly, recreate your identity to suit your purposes? Are you folly, flighty and flaky? By your own admission the man treated you well, are you sure you gave it, him, enough time? Or are you one of those people who shut it off and shut people out the moment you don’t get your way. Adult relationships are long, sometimes tedious, arduous, and dirty work. But it can also be empowering and forgiving and sweet.

Love takes patience and time and often times a LOT of scrubbing and cleaning. I bet he had his heavy duty yellow plastic cleaning gloves on dealing with you as well, ‘She’ with no fault.

Love takes some elbow grease and understanding and with a little luck if you HANG IN THERE, and really know that that person is genuine, love will prosper and grow. Especially over the age of 30, whence we are more solid and set in our ways.

I think that guy is probably doing great now, I think he moved on and found some happiness and trust in someone willing to do a little dirty work and heavy lifting. Have you? I think he may have had issues like any other SANE person who have chosen the wrong partner(s), and in this instance I think he chose wrong in you, because not only do you seem to lack patience in others, you haven’t learned that love is dirty sometimes, it can be soiled and uncomfortable, sometimes downright messy as a second grader’s shirt at recess but what it is IS unconditional. And it requires TIME and PATIENCE and from what I’ve read you seem like the type of narcissistic person who probably- ADMITTEDLY-lacked the latter, immensely. But when we are so self consumed and centered in our own BS we find it easy to place blame.

I will tidy up, scrub, deep clean and sterilize in the name of love. I will hold, balance, become the bearer of all baggage that a woman brings with her in the name of love. And when I’m at my VERY last breath (and not just a few months in) I will find a second wind, place her soiled heavy baggage down and begin again ALL in the name of LOVE.

It’s easy to list the things you simply won’t do. It’s hard to do ONE thing you simply won’t list.

These questions are pertinent because if not enough time had passed between each, then you guys hadn’t gotten to know each other well enough to be in a relationship. I am really actually interested in the answers as this type of topics is something I actually research.

Everyone has EXPERIENCES from prior relationships that are supposed to serve as guildelines to what a person will and will not accept in future relationships. They help us decide what we want in relationships and to learn about ourselves and what we have to offer. Anything beyond that (exception: traumatic relationships, i.e. abuse) is not the mate`s ex`s fault. Things don`t work out, love is a risk, and you`re taking a risk every time you choose to enter a relationship. It`s a person`s responsibility to take it on the chin and grow from past experiences. If you allow them to stunt your emotional growth, it no longer becomes your ex`s problem, but YOURS.

You women need to stop accepting men with so much baggage, thinking you can fix them. A confident man and/or woman is able to articulate his or her feelings and what they want out of a relationship, along with problems they might have had in the past that could deter growth; its up to you to choose to accept it or not. It`s similar to choosing to date a man with children. Either you can handle it or you can`t; you have an option, and those kids can`t be erased or ignored. A clear line of communication is key.