Men, Women only want you for your potential
Forget love.
People have convinced themselves that love is the moving factor when it come to relationships. Not true, especially in the case of women searching for a man.
Fellas, if you haven’t realized by now please take note:
Sure, women may be attracted to who and what you are presently but they are really thinking about what and who you can be in the future and how they can reap the benefits of the future you. We’ll call this the potential factor.
Guys, you can be making 60k a year at a mid-level job, renting your own apartment. You meet a woman, she learns of your current stats and within minutes she is brainstorming about how you will be making 90k a year, buying a house (that she helps pick out and decorate) and earning a promotion that will lead to a corner office.
Women love men who have the potential to earn, provide and accomplish more down the line. This is part of the reason why when a woman finds a man who is a diamond that needs polishing she brings a lot to the table early. She may spoil him, cook, sex him like crazy, things that show she is really there for him and locks her position in so when he does start climbing the ladder she is along for the trip.
The Potential Factor is also the reason why women nag the hell out of you men. When a woman sees you slipping, being lazy or taking missteps she will do what she can to help you get back on the track she thinks you are supposed to be on. Of course it’s not what you want to hear and it drives you crazy. You’re thinking she is really yelling about the garbage going out or your playing video games til 3am. No, she is getting on your cause about not being the man she knows you can be. Every woman has this life coach in her. We show it in different ways: sweet persuasion, hissy fits, reverse psychology.
No woman wants to be with a man who is a failure. In order to prevent this she will search for a man who has already accomplished a good deal on his own but needs a little love, support and fire under his behind to help him get to the top. It’s like the old saying, “I’m not where you at, its where you’re going.” The potential factor is also what makes it hard for women to move on. They’re thinking, “I’ll be damn if I leave and let another woman benefit from all the hard work and time I put into this man.”
Some men search for the potential factor as well. However, most of them believe in finding the woman they want forever on day one, who has time to act on faith and potential. “I want my perfect woman now!” is what some men say and that’s actually why they are never happy and single. Men don’t believe in waiting in seeing. They want it all right now. They want the way they meet a woman to be the way she is for the rest of their relationship. Men don’t take well to change so he’s less likely to accept a woman whose life changes drastically from the time they got together. Ladies, if you are working a simple 9-5, earning 45k and speak of wanting to be a wife and mother and taking care of home two years later your man is going to look at you crazy if you become a power hungry businesswoman, earning more than him and talking of hiring a nanny and housekeeper.
Fellas, think about this the next time you are on a first date giving her your stats. Take an unexpected pause and listen closely to see if you hear the gears in her head working overtime. She’s plotting your future before the first course arrives.
- SG
@DynamicDiva42
Monday, 4th May 2009 at 12:51 PM
Great post! So true. When I meet a man from the very first encounter to the first conversation I’m analyzing what he’s saying about his life, career, family, as well as his likes and dislikes. As long as there are no immediate deal breakers, I put him into the potential category. I think it’s also important to know what you’re working with before you waste time and energy on someone you know will never be right for you despite what potential they may have.
Dom
Monday, 4th May 2009 at 2:04 PM
Shhhhhhhh! Giving away all our secrets and ish! Whats wrong with you! LOL!
yung&viral
Thursday, 7th May 2009 at 12:40 PM
Make some solid points sg, but the line of nag and “life coach” is a thin one that is often crossed. That’s why we moved out of moms, if we want to play games or do whatever, that’s his choice, men move at our own speed, but it will get done, don’t project your time table onto the man, we will replace you, good men don’t want their moms, a woman who can nurture with a smile on her face will get what she wants.
Charlie Barley
Thursday, 7th May 2009 at 1:20 PM
…..well finally this is something the sexes can agree on! 95% of my focus is on potential. I analyze your past decisions to forecast (yes i do work with budgets and numbers) if you’ll have the POTENTIAL to make the same good or bad decisions. etc.
So while you over there looking into my eyes to see what you see…I’ve already done the math on you sweetie!!
100K
Thursday, 21st May 2009 at 5:46 PM
I wholly cosign Yung and Viral.
Females have to learn that sometimes us men dont want a woman to act like our mom. Nagging a man will only turn him off. Too often i see women get with a dude and then when things dont run on their timetable they get upset. AS IF THE SIGNS ARENT THERE WHEN YOU FIRST GET WITH HIM. then when he replaces you, they’re hate on the next girl because she’s doing something they’re not.
So this is why my ex told me she saw me in her life longterm…..hmph
My thing is….if you cant ride with me now, what makes you think you’ll be here for the future?
LiL Trey
Wednesday, 3rd June 2009 at 12:31 PM
hummm…….. Is this true ladies??? cause i have came across so ladies that have been telling me some things now.
CaramelLuv4u
Wednesday, 3rd June 2009 at 1:02 PM
It’s in our nature to want those things from a man. It speaks about it bodly in the bible, although I don’t know what these men today are thinking about. Some men say we ask for too much, but yet they want to call themselves men. When a man approaches me with those kinds of lines I tell him straight from the heart what’s on my mind. They can’t seem to handle what’s real about a relationship. Really ladies we need to stop faking it like we don’t know what’s going on from the first conversation with that new guy. Stop playing with these chumps and let them know what’s really going on.
JoeBmore
Tuesday, 30th June 2009 at 3:28 PM
Interesting article. I suspect there are a lot of truths in it.
I do agree that most men want the finished product now. So when a woman is yelling and nagging him (judging). Men instantly size a woman up and down. Then they think to themselves about every single insecurity that you have told him.
Then he deems you unworthy to judge him. Then the fighting starts. I do believe that a lot of women to talk as if they are coming from that place.
Either way. Its something to think about.
Kevin
Sunday, 23rd August 2009 at 12:25 AM
Been there already with a woman who thought she would be the glamour girl of the neighborhood, financed by me. I eventually saw she wanted my wallet most of all, so I divorced her. Go sell yourself to some other chump that gets excited by what is on the outside. She was an abusive nag and a narcissist on the inside. Go make your own future financially. I am here for love that is for better or worse.