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The Cost of Dating

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Not sure if you heard, but there is a recession creeping across America and aside from the middle Americans who have foreclosed on their homes, that single mother who lost her job and can’t feed her kids or the college kid who is no longer getting financial aid, single women are suffering. If you are unwed, unattached and out on the dating scene, like myself, you may have noticed something is amiss. Walk past any nice restaurant between the hours of 6-10pm and you’ll find empty seats. You’re out to dinner with your girls and you notice that there are several tables filled with girls just like yourselves, laughing, sharing plates, or mixed pairs but mostly parties of 3 or more. No, your mind isn’t playing tricks on you. The dinner date is dead!

I began noticing the extinction of dinner as a early stage date option mid-summer. I kept hearing the words “Coffee Date” or “Lets meet for coffee”. For one, I do not drink coffee; have never felt tempted to drink coffee nor do I find the inside of a Starbuck’s charming. In fact they all have faint aroma of homelessness and laptop dust. Still, my friends and I wondered what is this about. I asked the men and the explanation was…well it was…

“It’s a recession and I need to know that you have real potential before I come up off $75, $100 for dinner.”

Looky here, if you think you can take two hours of my time to ask me all types of personal questions while I sip on some hot shit I don’t want while my stomach is doing cartwheels cause I hotfooted it over here on my lunch break for coffee, you have another thing coming.

Let’s do the math:

1 cup of coffee/tea/fancy fruity shit = $4.79

Time spent in coffee shop, talking = 2 hours

Cost of travel to and from coffee date = $4.00 (on public transportation in NYC)

$4.79 / 2 hours + $4.00 – the chances of you seeing me again = You’re a cheap bastard

I can understand being on a budget but you mean to tell me that somewhere between paying $4.79 for a vente Kujichagulia and $40 per person for dinner, you can’t find a nice eatery that will cost you $30 for the whole shabang? Chinese? Thai? BBQ (not BBQ’s the hood chain spot with the steroid chicken wings)? These types of food don’t cost $75 for two. Be inventive and find places with charm and good food. Understand that good doesn’t have to mean gourmet.

Dinner isn’t the end all be all and you not offering it to us as option no. 1 on the “Let’s Hang Out” list isn’t a deal breaker (for most). It does, however, hinder the process. Dinner shows a woman that you are prepared to provide for her. You can work and bring home the (turkey) bacon.

Taking a woman out to dinner is the modern day version of a caveman bringing home a kill: “Look sweetie, look what I slayed for you today in the wilderness. Are you proud of me? Did I make you happy? Are you impressed?”

Taking a woman out for coffee says: “I’d fuck you.”

I’m all for making sure you know a person and if you really want to pursue them. But to place a woman’s value on whether she is worth a meal after 6pm is insulting. Not to mention with women having the balls to approach you dudes you shouldn’t be surprised if when you offer dinner at the end of the meal she picks up the tab.

People, I’m just merely suggesting that men stop thinking with their ego’s and realize that we women know that there is a recession. You can look at our nails and see we’ve been skipping on our manicure appointments (ladies, no matter how bad it gets…never skip the feet. I’ll eat ramen noodles for a week in order to pay for a pedicure, oh and my eyebrows too!) Gentlemen, we ladies promise not to lock up the coochie, or think less of you if you want to take us to Chili’s or Red Lobster for the “All You Can Eat Shrimp” special.

A real woman will ride with you during these hard fiscal times.

- Says the Single Girl

Originally posted October 9, 2008 on

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5 Responses to “The Cost of Dating”

  1. This was hilarious!!!!!

    I agree 100%. The whole “lets meet for coffee” crap just shows a lack of creativity. Some of my best dates have been cheap, activity dates that involved something as simple as eating paninis afterwards. It’s all about the way the date is set up.

  2. I disagree, let’s meet for coffee can lead to something else. It’s a bit more relaxed and gives you the opportunity to be together without trying too hard to impress. I’m sorry, but you may be missing out on some great people because of your unwillingness to just be. I’m not saying settle, because being wined and dined is nice too. I’m saying be open and give people a chance.

  3. Dionne is right…and she’s probably having great dates because she’s got an open mind. How is inviting someout out to coffee…insulting? If you don’t like coffee…suggest something else…that isn’t the cliched “dinner date”. Now…did you ever think he didn’t suggest dinner…because maybe he wasn’t hungry? Although, your post was a hilarious read…after I stopped laughing…I paused…and said maybe she really isn’t joking. This is one reason I hate dating and have cut back entirely in 2009. I don’t have a problem spending money…never have when it comes to dates…but I do have a problem with what seems like a growing trend and that’s women going out on dates just to see what they can get out a guy. It isn’t about going out to get to know somebody anymore….or never was..and I was just blinded by the smoke women were blowing in my ears all these years. lol. If it truely is about getting to know a guy…Starbucks or a five-star restaurant shouldn’t matter.

  4. Going for a coffee (I don’t drink the stuff either) provides you with valuable listening time. Going for a meal is nice but it can be a distraction (yeah, this is a nice place, the food is great! yada yada yada). Whereas on a coffee date, it’s just you, him and the frappuccinos. He’ll have no choice but to talk, even bear his soul and you’ll very quickly decide whether or not he’s worth a follow up phone call.

  5. I see both sides of the “argument.” However, chatting over a chai tea latte (no foam) AND maybe a cupcake :) at Barnes and Noble or Starbucks puts lets stress on both parties (especially for a 1st date.)

    The atmosphere is less stressful, you don’t have to worry about a new outfit (as much) nor do you have to stress about dinner etiquette/him being cheap etc…


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