Six Words Men Should Never Say to a Woman
There are some words women long to hear from their man. “I love you” tops the list followed in no particular order by “I need you”, “I miss you”, “Will you marry me?” All that is cute but let’s talk about the words women don’t want to hear. Not that the easy ones “I’m Gay”, “I’m Married” or “It’s Over.” I’m talking about six words that don’t seem harmless at first but soon can spread like cancer and destroy your relationship slowly. Men, these are six words you should never say to your woman:
“What you need to do is…”
I want to spit just having typed those words.
No man thinks that this is a big deal but once you start with those six lethal words the rest of the sentence is irrelevant because you girl is thinking, “I know this man ain’t just tell me what I need to do. Don’t he know I’m grown!”
Fellas, I know you heart is in the right place when use these words. You’re thinking that you are helping. Hell, most of the time your woman asked you for you opinion in the first place. Take it from me, start with something else like:
“Why don’t you…”
“Maybe you can…”
“Have you thought about…”
The reason why men don’t get why this matters is because most men think that when their woman asks for advice, they are really asking for advice. Ha, honey that can’t be further from the truth.
Women have this thing of asking their man his opinion about something, not always because she values his opinion but because she wants to see how he thinks. This is why a woman doesn’t ask “What’s should I do? Or “What’s your advice?” Instead she says…
“What do you think?”
The best advice I got about men was from a guy I dated several years ago.
“SG, my mother told me to never give a woman your opinion about something that you know is a sensitive matter like her hair, clothes, friends unless it’s a positive opinion. Another thing, when you ask a man his opinion we take it as the door is now open for us to always give our opinion. It’s like inviting me in your house. I’m going to always think I’m invited, start popping up unexpected. Besides, you know yourself way better than I do. I’m sure you know what you should do.”
“What you need to do is…” is probably the most condescending thing a man can say to his woman. When a man says those words to me I hear this: “Listen little lady, let big daddy school you cause it’s clear you need my help, a man’s help.” Of course he doesn’t know his words are working me up. He thinks he’s just helping me out. Ladies, it’s our job to tell a dude the best way to speak to us. If you don’t, one day down the line he is going to start a sentence with “What you need to do is…” and before you know it, you’ve snapped. You’ll be calling your best friend from jail talking about, “Girl, I don’t know how it happened. I just heard him say, “What you need to do is…” and the next thing I know there’s blood all over the place and I’m in handcuffs.”
Men, I understand that you want to help your lady, but there is a fine line between helping and telling. Men need to learn to become more suggestive instead of being a brut force. If you don’t know how to do this, listen carefully the next time your woman gets you to do something that you really don’t want to do.
- STSG
Phatt Katt of 581-MPC Inc.
Wednesday, 20th May 2009 at 4:52 PM
Women love to tell men what they need to do but when you say the same thing to a woman they flip out. If you don’t want a man to tell you what to do then don’t say anything to us about what we need to do…
Lady Jei
Wednesday, 20th May 2009 at 7:40 PM
Too funny.
However, I think the worse 4 words a man can say to a woman are “we need to talk”. That will never end in your favor.
James
Thursday, 21st May 2009 at 3:00 PM
I have always said this about women in fact I recently got into a heated argument with a colleague about what I told her to do. The said thing she needed the advice because it its effecting other areas of her life.. Men are problem solvers we don’t have time to communicate for the sake of communicating without a result.. Especially as a habit. You don’t get to be HNIC doing that kind of crap
If a women wants to communicate with a man in her world he needs to tell him how. Not just expect him to pick up on the shit. I don’t think that fair and hence the resaon most of the songs about love failing come from women. Why because the concept of open communication is trivial to them.
A great teacher of mine once told something about men and women. He said women encode messages and men decode them when they communicate.
James
Thursday, 21st May 2009 at 3:46 PM
I never understood any of that. I treat women the same way they treat me, which is why they don’t stay around long. Think about that.
100K
Thursday, 21st May 2009 at 5:28 PM
Cosign first post
Neighborhood
Thursday, 21st May 2009 at 11:37 PM
We must learn to live life “as is”. Too much of don’ts complicate this life.
The most important thing is the agape type of love. Not the words presentation.
Because if you keep saving those words in your mind, to let them burst to flame some days later, that’s being mean instead of the love you claim.
LOVE doesn’t count faults. What do you think when you hear those words?
And that’s why there’s too much divorce in the whole world, especially in America..
You teach women what to hear and what not to take.
Where are these words taking you to? Mignight cry, weeping, pain!
shemcity
Friday, 22nd May 2009 at 11:07 AM
I try to say things to women to not offend them,but if is something important to someone i care about.I gives a damn how she takes it.REAL TALK.
omiunique
Monday, 25th May 2009 at 11:41 PM
I had a good laugh at this article….When I ask for advice I;m asking for an opinion…You are free to tell me what you think…because I DID ask…..lol…… but the final decision as always is my own
Duvlek
Tuesday, 26th May 2009 at 3:54 AM
yanno. .my view on this is this. .if u want sum1 to lie to u, mess wit sum1 dat u kno dats goin to lie, cuz if u wanna ask sum1 u kno datz goin to tell da truth about sumthin sensitive. .u get wut u ask for. ..so if u really dont wanna kno dont ask. ..prettty simple
jaysta
Wednesday, 27th May 2009 at 2:28 PM
If you’ve already come to a decision, why see what your man (or male friend) thinks ? 9 times out of 10 you’re not going to take his advice or truly value his opinion anyway. I’m not saying this to sound sarcastic or anything of that nature, its just that women tend to want to always be in a mans head (figuring out his thought processs) to plan the next move in any situation.Thats just the way it is.On that same note, a woman is quick to tell a man “What you need to do” & honestly…I feel the EXACT same way women do when ANYBODY tells me that !! So maybe women should consider taking their own advice when communicating with men. I believe that things between US would be better all the way around.Thats just MY opinion.
Alex
Wednesday, 3rd June 2009 at 5:35 AM
Oh,” What a tangled web we weave” . The above article shows that it’s very important that a woman understands a man and how he thinks before she blindly decides to forge her way of thinking on a man and as a result get angry because he innocently responds as a man. Excellent article..I will be very aware of this” trap” that women put men in on a daily basis in the future.
N.S. Ugezene
Tuesday, 9th June 2009 at 12:58 AM
Women take things out of context. That is their biggest problem. That is a perception-based issue in th first place. A man will even try to explain himself and a women will still try to tell him what he’s thinking. A man doesn’t need a woman telling him his thoughts if she can’t even take his suggestions. It’s simple and plain. Don’t try to say your man is this way and that way when you are the one who acts like he has to help you even make the decision to breathe.
DCLEVE1
Thursday, 25th June 2009 at 1:46 AM
oKAY YOUR POINTS ARE TAKEN JUST HOPE THAT YOU SUBMIT THE WORDS A MAN NEVER WANTS TO HERE
name
Tuesday, 26th January 2010 at 11:18 AM
here is a little advice women if you don’t want men telling you what to do or what you need to do then don’t tell him any of that mess that’s what is funny you can tell men what to do or what we need to do but when we do it then you wanna get mad about it i think women who act like that are mental like STSG