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Recession Love: It’s Your First Christmas Together, Should You Buy a Gift?

christmas_gift

I don’t know about you but this holiday season is kicking my ass. There’s two weeks left until X-mas and I haven’t bought a single present. Hell, I’m not even partaking in my office’s Secret Santa. What I look like spending $30 on a co-worker I don’t really care for. Every time I hear a Christmas carol my eyes roll. Then there is the issue of this damn recession. We’re all in the same place as far as watching our paper but when you’re involved with someone your approach to the holidays (should) change. This got me to thinking and about two things: The Recession and Love. I introduce to you the Recession Love series.

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I’m bad at a lot of things: hellos, goodbye, hugs, remembering birthdays and lastly presents. Something about the pressure of going shopping, finding the right gift without asking them what they want…wheww, I just got tired thinking about it. I’m the type to ask you what you want, have you print it out with a list of stores I can get it from and give it to you unwrapped. Surprises are not my thing.

It’s not that I don’t want to show how much I value a dude, but I’m constantly thinking about what the gift means and whether I’m putting more into it him. I’m all about balance and fairness. Can’t go out looking like a sucka. Because of this I usually end up giving “sentimental gifts” aka some shit I made myself so if he ends up giving me some wackness it’s no sweat off my back. To date I’ve given old flames crocheted hats and scarfs (think Common during his E. Badu years), sweaters and a box of condoms. Trust me, I was justified in each case.

Of course when the love is new you try to put a disclaimer out there:

“Let’s make a deal, how about we don’t spend more than $50.”

“How about we just make dinner and stay home.”

“It’s OK with me if we don’t exchange gifts.”

For the record, no one wants to be the Scrooge and suggest not to buy gifts at all but one of you is always thinking it.

The easiest way to handle X-mas gifting is to add a monetary value for every month you’ve been together. Depending on your financial situation try increments of 10 or 20. This means if you been together six months you’re shelling out anywhere from $60 – $120; ten months = $100 – $200. It doesn’t sound that bad when you think about it, right?

It’s similar to the rule of the engagement ring: an engagement ring should equal 2-3 months of your man’s salary. Ladies, don’t hit your man up now trying to figure out if you’d be rocking a cubic or the real thing.

Of course this gift giving formula only applies to relationships 12 months or shorter. If you’ve been with someone for longer than a year, of course you are getting a gift and it better be a good one.

Now that the question of “How much?” is answered there is the issue of “What to give?”

When I do buy gifts I am very practical. I like to buy shit that I know is going to be used and not collect dust. I want to purchase a gift that I know will be in use for years to come. Even if we break up I want the next chick to ask where you got so and so from and you have to ‘fess up, “My ex brought me that.” Zing.

Men love clothing, gadget and video games. I don’t buy them that. I’ve been known to buy microwaves, pillows, toilet bowl cleaners…things that make his and my life easier. Sue me.

Whatever you decide to spend your money on you need to know that you should, without a doubt, buy your boo a gift. How much you spend and what to buy I’ll leave up to you.

…Says The Single Girl

12 Responses to “Recession Love: It’s Your First Christmas Together, Should You Buy a Gift?”

  1. Thank you for your tips.I I should have red this earlier. I like your ideas and style,I think I make clear how to pick a perfect gift for my wife. It is really wonderful. I am going to search on www: followsales.com and find a cheaper one. Wish me good luck!

  2. I’m with you on this anti-surprise shopping stress, and having just recently begun a new relationship (in the past month) I’m confused as to if I should buy him something, or if it’s too soon. Thanks for your tips : )

  3. lmao….Yo, SG. You are BACK! Bcuz this was madd funny, especially when you correctly identified what men REALLY like–then said you don’t buy that shyt…lmao…. But for real, I have NEVA heard the cost of an engagement ring should equal 2-3 months of a man’s pay. WTF? I hope that is not widely known bcuz HELL to the Naw, I ain’t tryin to go out like that–next time I go that route….lol… THAT equals real cake. Do women EVER chip in on the ring? ….lol As for Christmas gifts, I think you have a good formula, especially for relationships under a year. I would say you don’t want to buy anything too personal if you haven’t hit it….Thongs, nities, lingerie are too personal for a new relationship.

  4. First, let me say I somehow stumbled across your website through a blog & I must say that i’ve been hooked! I read almost every post in the archives & to date. I love it reading your posts, look forward to reading more in the future.

    Now to the post at hand :)

    I am in the middle of the same dilemma. I am trying to figure out if I should get the guy that I am dating something. This situation is different because he is not just some guy; he’s actually a guy that I’ve been dating off & on for a few years so I am really confused about getting him something. He hasn’t bought it up & I haven’t either, but I think I will get something that I can use even if I don’t give it to him (gift card).

    My trip to CVS, Rite Aid, Walgreens, or Duane Reade will be fun. Those gift cards are not that expensive (cheapest one is like $5) so if I do get something but he doesn’t get me anything, I will not be at a lost because I know a million & one ways to spend little money to get the best gifts.

    Besides, we are in a recession like you said! lol

  5. @ Monay. So instread of leaving it to chance, why don’t U just bring the issue up? Both of y’all are grown, right? lol……..Especially if y’all have been off and on for a few years, I don’t see WHY one of y’all just don’t make it clear how y’all gonna work it and then just call it a day. The real question is what’s up for New Years eve? Now if you haven’t discussed New Years eve yet………U probably got something like a booty call….lmao…bcuz it’s getting late in the day for getting set for New Years eve……..

  6. Well @DC Man With A Plan. He’s already asked me out for New Year’s Eve WEEKS ago & I’ve said yes so I doubt it’s a booty call. lol besides we haven’t had sex yet so I couldn’t possibly be a booty call I would have to give up the booty for that lol

    In regards to the Christmas thing though, I doubt I will be bringing it up. I will just keep a gift card on standby just in case. That’s about it.

    I don’t want to feel like I’m jumping through hoops for this man. I’m a giving person by nature & even if it’s a little thing as a gift card, I still will feel like I am giving too much.

    So I will leave it up to God/The Universe & see how it all plays out!

  7. I don’t need gifts at Christmas time. I’m ok with getting nothing and giving nothing. If I go out to a friends to dinner over the holidays, I may bring a dish of something or a bottle of wine, but as an adult, gifts are not required. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it.

  8. just wrap yourself up in a bow and call it a gift. i dont mind NOT getting a present because most of the time, if i see something i really really like, i’ve already bought it. plus, i adore the spontaneous little gifts much better…

  9. @ a girl that likes bread

    Please don’t give sex as a gift. Esp if the guy has already hit that. Contrary to popular belief, sex as a present isn’t any more special. I feel jipped when I get with a girl and I’m supposed to feel special because she let me smash. You know you wanted some too! Don’t even play that with me…

  10. Totally agree with complex gentlemen…

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