STSG Pet Peeve: Men Who Can’t Drive

Very few things I’m a stickler about. I’ve learned to give and take when dating someone. You can either learn to accept or ignore or dumb them because of their quirks.

He snores in his sleep, I can get past that. He clips his toes nails on the couch, I’ll just make sure I’m not in the room. He can’t cook, hell if he’s a good provider I’ll happily slave in the kitchen butt naked in heels if that’s what pleases him (of course that’s not an everyday occurrence).

One thing I can’t get past…Men who can’t drive.

I’ve dated men who could whip it so good I’ve wet my draws when they’ve bust a u-turn with one hand. Have you ever sat next to a man who can carry on a convo, looking you in the eye, while he parallel parks? Lord have mercy. I wonder why I’m so attracted to men who can drive and I think of his ability to drive well as being an extension of him protecting me.

When I’m in the car with a man who has mastered the road I feel safe. I can sleep in the passenger side and not worry if he’s going to hit someone or run a red light.

To be clear, I am a driver. A damn good driver so I know what should be done when you are behind the wheel. To me, a man who can’t drive is like a woman who can’t produce breast milk. Another thing I compare a man not being a good driver to is erectile dysfunction. You have the goods but aren’t able to impress me with it.

Now, its a different story if you don’t have a drivers license. That’s wack as well, even worst if you don’t have a license but still get behind the wheel. Do us all a favor and take care of your business.

I’m directing this to all the men who have valid driver’s licenses and think they are Dale Earnhart Jr.  Having been the victim of a man who can’t drive my heart goes out to all the women who have experienced the same.

My worst experience was enough to make me want to jump out of the car. Whenever I was with dude I often offered to drive suggesting maybe he had one too many drinks (men always swear they aren’t drunk) or that I could get us there faster cause I knew the back roads. Needless to say the man ego wouldn’t allow him to turn over the keys. He also suffered from road rage but 9 times out of 10 he was in the wrong.

Late one night we were on the highway. I decided to dose off only to be awaken by him hitting the brakes.

“Oh shit,” he says.

I sit up expecting to see traffic, maybe there was construction on the road. There was nothing. Lane was clear for miles.

“What happened?” I asked.

“There was a turn.”

“What?”

“I don’t like turns.”

“Excuse me?” What I wanted to say was, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Plus, I don’t know this highway.”

For the rest of the way home I alerted him of upcoming turns, “There’s a turn coming up…Here’s another one…” Each one he approached with his foot heavily on the brakes. I felt like everyone else on the road was looking at as like we were in a small yellow school bus.

When you think about it, the way men and women approach driving is eerily similar to how they approach dating. Women tend to be more sensible and precautious. Men want speed and to impress.

The worst part of this is that there is no way to make a man a better driver. Try telling a man he can’t drive. Its like telling him he’s bad in bed.

He won’t believe you.

- STSG