The Woes of Living Alone
The sweetest time in adulthood is when you live alone. You’re out of the parents house and can afford not to have roomates. It will be a while before you even let the thought of moving in with a gf/bf or getting hitched enter your mind.
For the time being, you enjoy waking up and not having to tell anyone “good morning” or wait to get into the bathroom. Your dishes can sit in the sink for days. That used empty glass you drank from two days ago, just go ahead and pour your morning cup of orange juice in it. You know you’re the only one who used it and you know where your mouth has been.
You walk around naked, scratch your ass, leave a mound of dirty clothes on the floor.
Life can’t get any better. Until…
…You get sick.
When you live alone and get sick you loonngggg for someone to visit and kick yourself for not giving your best friend/person your dating your spare key. You wish someone could at least come over and check to see if you’ve stopped breathing. The thought of you lying dead in your apartment for weeks before someone decides to call the police and have your door knocked down jossel you from your sleep.
As you lay cocooned on the couch (the bed doesn’t feel good anymore), your over the counter drug daze has you imagining what your life would be like if you were coupled up. Your lover would tell their boss “I need to leave work early today, my sweetheart is sick.” They’d rush home with a bag full of groceries and drugs. All you have to do is sit there. They’d make sure you were fed and comfortable.
In the middle of the night they’d rush to the nearest drug store and feel your forehead while you slept to see if you were too warm.
“Damn it, why the hell am I single?” You ask yourself. You start thinking about the people you are seeing but none of them you want to get up off the couch for and let in your house. You can barely stand them when your healthy so just the sound of their voice might make you die on the spot.
Of course the next thought that creeps in your head is “Is there anyone I didn’t give a fair chance to? Person X was really into me. I bet if I let them stick around they would be feeding me soup right now.”
You curse the day you said “I love living alone”. Then as if Will Smith in Men in Black zapped your short term memory clean, you are healthy forgetting your trip to rock bottom of singlehood.
Just that fast, you are back to dancing around naked, drinking from the carton and forgetting to flush the toilet.