Comments on: Jump Offs Exist (Even Essence.com Knows This)

By: sylkiifeather

sylkiifeather — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 22:20:03 +0000

who cares about who sleeps with who and how its done…just have fun in life and be safe about it d*mn…

By: DC Man with a Plan

DC Man with a Plan — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 13:58:42 +0000

@ Bourgie, I don’t see why that is either–but it is, what it is. Your specific words and strain of thought determines how your expression will be viewed and accepted. You spent a lot of time discussing something you didn’t like, which makes no sense unless you’re doing a professional critic. You had points 1,2 AND 3 just for something you didn’t think was good writing? Naw, shortee, that doesn’t make sense. Unfortunately, there is NO one saying I didn’t like it bcuz I’m a jump off…or I didn’t like it bcuz I felt it was an attack on women and I felt personally insulted: those would be honest responses, but instead, what happens is ppl deny their real motives and spend an hour harpin on something tryin to sound ‘resonable;’ Trying to cloak their REAL disdain for something they SAY is not about them, (but MAY secretly feel it IS about them) in reasonable sounding themes. Yeah, right!

By: suga

suga — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:17:14 +0000

I get essence.com updates in my email and as soon as I saw the ad for the article, I deleted it. I agree with Bourgie. Just the title itself came off immature and wack. And it seemed like Essence was stooping. Why is the JO even being discussed in 2009? It just seemed like an old ass topic that maybe should have been dissected back in the 90s. i had no idea there was an uproar, tho, until i logged onto Twitter.

“Many black women are unhappy because they aren’t being fulfilled, spend way too many nights in bed alone, prayed one too many times to God for a man but aren’t doing the things in their own power to make one want to stay.”

Black women aren’t doing the things int heir own power to make Black men stay? Wow

By: Bourgie, JD

Bourgie, JD — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 21:56:43 +0000

@DC Man – I think anger is a strong word and doesn’t accurately convey my thoughts or feelings toward the piece. I don’t see why all disagreement or the fact that a person doesn’t like something has to equal being angry, bitter or a hater. I’m sure I blog about stuff people don’t like and you know what, cool. As bloggers we put our opinions and work out there for people to see and, yes, critique.

Just as you felt compelled to comment on this blog and on my comment, I was compelled to share my 2cents as well. *shrug*

Oh, and how you came to certain conclusions (that I spent a lot of time on it and needed to read 4 bullet points a few times to decide they were oversimplistic and silly) is beyond me.
Happy commenting!

By: DC Man with a Plan

DC Man with a Plan — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:35:03 +0000

lol…Bourgie, IMO, demonstrates anger at the piece (though she says her protest is that it was just “corny” yet she spends a considerable amount of time dissecting a piece she didn’t care for–yet she paid acute attention and likely re-read it a few times, while gathering her thoughts. IT was a man’s point of view and likely there are others who would second his comments, but it naturally, does not mean ALL men feel that way. Seems like a tongue in cheek, cutesy type of article that, none the less, will get some liberated, high and mighty women all ruffled. As if it is expected that every article has to show balance? And we give names to every thing, so why should FWB’s not have their own terms and language? And rules are every where. Didn’t a week ago this blog lists “rules” of relationships? All of a sudden, some women have problem with titles and rules? Some of y’all are too funny. Even if you’re a Jump off…U can still BE the best jump off of ALL times! U can still be ” All You Can Be! ” And if it doesn’t apply to you…Don’t worry: Be happy!
sheesh….smdh

By: Hey

Hey — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:26:14 +0000

Your a nasty whore!

By: Bourgie, JD

Bourgie, JD — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 04:25:10 +0000

Frankly, I just thought the post was wack.
1. The whole “jump off” conversation is so 7 years ago. Corny.
2. Grown people who still use the term “jump off” to refer to casual sexual relationships are, in my opinion, immature and yep, wack.
3. He didn’t really break anything down with those four rules and all but the first one were arguably ridiculous, even in a casual relationship. (even the first one was a bit off base)

If you want to talk about being real with women and give them the male POV, that’s cool. But to me, what’s real is that it’s okay to engage in consensual, adult, casual sex …no strings attached, or plain “we just f&ckin,” and just let it be that. Attaching silly names and rules to it all just goes against the intended point – to school women – and makes it all seem like a game where the man is doing the playing and the woman is getting played.

So no, it’s not that people (not just women, I saw men on twitter who didn’t care for the piece) are mad because they’re so-called “jump offs”. It’s not that Essence betrayed its readers by offering a new perspective. For me, it just wasn’t that great of a post.

By: tiffany

tiffany — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:09:36 +0000

Sorry for the double post. Hit submit before I was finished.

The issue is one of tone. His tone was male-centric and implied that women have NO AGENCY in such an arrangement.

He talked about how he treated HIS jump-off without acknowledging that HE is also HER jump-off.

It’s a standard (black) male view of sexuality — one where women are there for his pleasure, and no mutuality is assumed.

Mind you: I agree with his premise. But he needs to shift his perspective.

By: tiffany

tiffany — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 23:08:11 +0000

The issue is one of tone. His tone was male-centric and implied that women have NO AGENCY in such an arrangement.

He talked about how he treated HIS jump-off without acknowledging that HE is also HER jump-off.

It’s a standard (black) male view of sexuality — one where women are there for his pleasure, and no mutuality is assumed.

Mind you: I agree with