“I Call Her My Fianceé Because She’s More Than My Girlfriend”


If you ever want to know what’s on the mind of a man go out to dinner with a bunch of guys. About an hour into it, you will start to hear their crazy rationale, doggish behavior and insecurities.

The keys to making this work: liquor, good food and great company. You can’t jump down their throat or start with your “I’m a strong woman and I don’t stand for x, y, z…” crap cause they’ll clam up.

Another key is to have more men than women present. More men means they have people to back them up in their P.O.V . If there were more women, the guys present would feel the need to defend themselves and the whole thing would turn into a battle of the sexes tennis match.

Last night I had dinner with 11 men. I was one of three women and we all peed our pants from the stuff that was coming out of their mouths.

The conversation really picked up when we started talking about how to end a relationship .

“Send a text,” said one 29 year old guy, who claimed to have 12 lady “associates”. I didn’t know people still used that word.

“Question is, how long they been together. If it’s a couple months you go over to their house, have a cab waiting out front. Knock on the door but don’t cross the threshold and say ‘This isn’t working’ and leave. Whatever you do, don’t let them start with, ‘Let’s talk about it.’ If they do, you’re done for.” The gentleman who said this was in his early 40′s and has been in a relationship for four years.

So I inquired about his relationship and where he saw it going.

“Oh, we’re very strong. She is a good woman. I love her and haven’t cheated once.”

“Are you going to get married?” I asked.


“So you’re engaged?”

“No but I call her my fiancée because she’s more than my girlfriend.”

“Are you serious?!? Just get the woman a ring already. Please don’t tell me you introduce her as your fiancée and she has no ring on her finger.”

“Of course I do. She doesn’t like the word ‘girlfriend’ so I say fiancée.”

“You know, your making her look like a damn idiot. When you say to me ‘ SG, meet my fiancée’ the first thing I’m gonna do is say hello and look to see the rock. When there isn’t one I’m looking at the both of you like you’re liars.”

“How you know she didn’t leave it at home?”

“No woman would leave her ring, a ring she been after for years at home especially at an event where she knows she’s going to be introduced to new people.”

“Damn SG, you got all the answers, huh?”

“Get that woman a ring asap!”

“Damn, are you her legal representation?”

“No, but I’m saying you need to stop calling her your fiancée when she isn’t. You know that an engagement ring is a legally binding contract. It shows you have real intentions.”

“SG, the next time she and I have this exact argument I’m gonna check to see if you are in the closet cause you sound just like her.”

“Seriously, what’s holding you back? Just get her the ring.”

“You’re right. I should. I’m going to start shopping around. You think I could get something nice for $3,000?”

“Absolutely. Get a princess cut cause it makes the stone look bigger then say round or oval.”

“That’s smart.”

“You know once you get her that ring, she is going to want to get married in like a year.”

“I know! That’s what I’m afraid of.”


16 Responses to ““I Call Her My Fianceé Because She’s More Than My Girlfriend””

  1. AMEN !!! I agree any woman who would allow their man to introduce you as his fiance to his family & friends is a DAMN FOOL. As soon as I hear you call me fiance Im yankin yo ass from whereever we are and we GOIN TO GET DAT RING !! Every1 is a fool every once in awhile but dont b NO DAMN FOOL

  2. I believe that some women, after years of filtering out “bad apples” & finally finding a man that they’re happy enough to be with, would be content with just the title and not the ring. (Probably in fear of pushing him away or losing him)
    I also believe that alot guys are fearful of a solid committed relationship leading to marriage because their “Freedom” will be gone. For most
    when you mention the “M” word they run!!! Because guys all know that she’s on her best behavior Just to get the ring. If we do marry BOOM!!! ChangeOmatic!!! We been tricked!!! Smh oh lawd help us

  3. ICant understand women that call a man fiance for six seven years-with or without a ring…it’s sad that women would accept anything less than having a man that loves cares and genuinely respects them….dah well….i know one thing…no man is ever going to call me a fiancee cause I’m more than a girlfriend…he’s gonna call me that cause we’re getting married!

  4. He’s smart. He’s not rushing it. She can leave him if she doesn’t like the terms of their “engagement”. He aint forcing her to stay. Obviously if she’s staying for so long, he’s gonna continue so fuck it.

    I don’t see what the big deal is. I will agree that most men look at marriage as something that’ll restrict them. I personally think that women should first learn how to differentiate between falling in love with a person for who they are rather than. Falling in love with the idea of being in a relationship/marriage.

    I’m 23 but I’ve personally seen women get on their A game to get the ring and title. The dude has no or just minor complaints and then he marries her and its all downhill. He then won’t divorce her because it’s “cheaper to keep her”

    *shudders*…not to mention her potentially getting half, alimony and child support…*shudders*

  5. Great article. This is an interesting situation for alot of women. It’s almost a catch 22 of sorts. ALL women want the honor of being more than just the girlfriend so to be elevated to the status of fiance even in name only is alot better than nothing especially when he’s the one claiming as such. However, I can also understand the frustration of not getting the “hardware” that goes along with that territory. Sadly most women would rather keep the title than to push harder and risk losing it for wanting all or nothing. The situation these men put us in is truly ridic sometimes.

  6. Any woman that lets that fly then that’s on her. However, a dude that claims that cant have any argument either when the pressure cooker starts hissing – Dont turn on the fire if your not ready to cook! SG tell your friend Charlie Hustle said “He’s an idiot!”

  7. oh…..and why the picture of LaLa….didnt they get married?! lol

  8. So I asked a “friend” and he says the title of “life partner” would be more fitting. I told him that’s great for gay couples but wouldn’t quite fit this situation. I don’t really know how I feel about this. If she allows/agrees with this then why should we care. I have been “truly” engaged a few times with the hardware ;) and got called “wife” before I even walked down the aisle. The funny part is I never ended up taking the walk LOL
    To each his own….

  9. If my guy gave me the title..then he knows the ring should follow ASAP!!! LOL!!!

  10. My question is why do all the women on here aside from vegas rican feel like they always know what’s best for someone else. To call label the women a damn fool is absurd. Dude in his 40′s, I’m assuming his “fiance” is in close age. If that works for them ad they both happy wit it, who cares. Dude been with her 4 plus years, never stepped outside the relationship, a ring is only a sybol, and sorry sg, that shit does not hold up in court, a promise ring is just that. Maybe its a money issue, if he talking 3k for a ring money is an issue. Somebody on here questioned his love and respect because of no ring, that doesn’t make sense. If he loves and adores her and vice versa, a ring may not be that important to either one of them. I do think it may be an age thing of sorts, but to call the women a fool is a stretch, if they happy they happy no matter what the title is.

  11. Your right she is a fool. When you call someone your fiance it is expected that there should be a ring as well as a wedding to follow. A ring means that there is intention to marry and that all other men are off limits. No ring means i’m still on the market and that are relationship is temporary. I had an ex refer to me as his fiance and even his wife!. I checked his ass and a ring and proposal eventually followed. We are treated the way we allow our men to treat us.

  12. To each its own if they are happy with each other it doesnt take a ring to define their title or their happiness. I had friends who were proposed to only to complain and whine about the ring being to small, is that love?? No not in my opinion, not having a ring and allowing her boyfriend to label her as “fiancee” is not being treated bad. The bigger the ring the more he loves you?? Thats nonsense and superficial and materialistic.


    Monday, 13th July 2009 at 2:30 PM

    No one under 25 should even be considering marrige,long term realtionships. Unless you clearly have yourslef together and are totally grounded. Life is to short and there are alot of mistakes that are going to be made some good,bad. some even life changing, and nowadays it seems a person is only in a person’s life for a fleeting moment, that why “true” marriges are far and few, ppl are just impressed/infatuated with “titles.

  14. i agree that if thats what she wants then thats alright. but at the same time, alot of women are so in love with being in love that they will settle for just anything…maybe because it is hard to find a good man these days…a man with no drama, has his stuff together, and is trustworthy. but we women should set our own standards and stick to them, no matter what. because at the end of the day, you shouldnt be content with just settling. i always tell my friends that life is too short to be wasting time on anybody who is not worth the time. there are so many people in this world to meet, so why settle. you may think there is nobody else out there, but there is. also, alot of times, women are afraid to be alone. as if being single is the worst thing in the world. there are a lot of positive and fun things that come along with being single. dont be afraid to be single. so if you have to get rid of somebody…do so…no matter how long you have known them. dont look at it as “oh i have invested so many years in this person that its gonna be a waste of time to get rid of them”. no…think of it as “oh by getting rid of this person, i am saving time in the future and doing what it takes to make myself happy”.

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