Do You Share Your Toys?

Early on in most women’s sex life, they think the act of sex is limited to kissing, foreplay (oral but only she receives), missionary and doggy style. But after a couple years of playing the good girl and realizing that your needs aren’t being met because:

-         He’s doing what he wants

-         You don’t know your body well enough to tell him what you want

-         You’re too afraid to speak up

It wasn’t until I became more secure in my sexuality that I began to think outside of the box.

Finally, I got to the point where I decided to take matters into my own hands, literally. I was tired of sex without the big O. I knew that in order to bat 100% I needed to train my body. I had no choice. You too will come to this crossroads, if you haven’t already.

One day you’ll find yourself where you never thought you’d be before-the sex toy store shopping for some stimulation (dildo, vibrator, etc).

At first you’ll treat your purchase like a bastard child, only bringing it out at night. The shame tenses up your body. Even if you live alone you swear someone can hear the buzzing coming from your bedroom.

Fast forward a couple months and you are on your second set of batteries and whipping it out on a Saturday afternoon with the blinds up. As you become more comfortable with your toy(s) you build a certain connection with them. Once shy and timid you now have the nerve to bring them out during sex, with a guy!

If you haven’t had the pleasure of sharing your toys with lovers, try it.

At first you may be hesitant to bring some entertainment into the bedroom.

Be prepared for your partner to be taken aback. He may think that bringing out the battery operated tools means he’s not doing it right. An insecure man will definitely think that. A secure man will know that you just want to take an already pleasurable experience to the next level.

There are certain ways to share your toys.  Some people like to prep their boo, testing the waters with conversation and hypotheticals.

“What do you think about sex toys?”

“Have you ever used a toy on someone before?”

That is a great approach to take but I leave that for a conversation with a boyfriend. If it’s a sex buddy I just spring it on them during the heat of the moment. Always during foreplay and never during penetration. No man wants to see another penis shaped object while he is erect and already doing work.

In my experience, the best time to take out toys is during foreplay like during oral when he is down on you. Right when he is going to town and you know what you need is a little buzz to take you there just tell him…

“Hold up baby, I got something.”

Reach into your drawer and pull out your bullet, vibrator. I’d reserve the dildo for a latter date. Once he is comfortable with using a foreign object you’ll find that he will want to experiment more. That’s when you can tell him to use the dildo on you. Ladies, you have no idea how much this turns men on. I’m not saying they love it but they do love to see you being pleased (that is if they give a fuck about you and you aren’t a jump off).

Toys were made to make people happy. Adults toys are made to make you very happy. Share that happiness with the man or woman who makes you happy in the sack.

There is no shame in sharing. Isn’t that what your mother always taught you as a child?

-SG