Dear SG: Should I Celebrate My One Year Anniversary?


I received this letter last week but had to get some clarification on the issue at hand. Below, you will find the correspondence with the reader “One Year Later”.


Dear Single Girl -

Next week is my one year anniversary. I’ve been thinking what I want to do with my guy but my friends seem to think that I’m not really in a relationship at all. He and I have been dating, we hang out and the sex is great. We don’t have titles but we are exclusive. SG, should I celebrate our anniversary or not?

-         One Year Later


One Year Later -

I really need to know a lot more about the status of this “relationship” before I can give my thoughts on it. Firstly, you mentioned that you two don’t have titles. If a stranger asked do you have a boyfriend, what would your answer be? Secondly, what is keeping you two from being in a committed, labeled relationship? Third, do you love him? And most importantly, has he ever said “I love you”?

-         STSG


Dear Single Girl -

Your questions are like the same ones my friends ask me. Here are my answers:

1. I never say I have a boyfriend, but will say that I am dating someone exclusively. I only refer to him as either “my friend” or by his first name.

2. When we first started dating it was more of a friend with benefits type thing but grew into something more. We’ve spoke about us and what we want but he expressed early on that he wasn’t looking for a relationship. We’ve been going with the flow since.

3. Yes.

4. No.


One Year Later aka No Love -

I hope you peeped my new name for you. If your boo hasn’t told you he loves you after a year of being in whatever it is you two are in, chances are what you think you have is nothing at all. It’s a house of sand and fog build on a foundation of sand. All too often women will try to turn a booty call into a husband and the success rate of that transformation is .000009.

No love, don’t you dare play yourself talking about a damn anniversary. You’d be better of going out with friends in your “fuck me pumps” and find a man who wants you, all of you, for himself, outright. This guy has been getting the milk for free and you want to congratulate him for that? That is what your celebrating this mock “anniversary” will do.

Now, I’m not blaming this guy for doing what you’ve allowed him to do. You should take some credit in this mess. It’s clear that you want a real relationship and this is not it. Instead you decided to stick around hoping that he will see how great you are (which I am sure you are), change his mind about not wanting to be in a relationship and show up at your door with a bouquet of red roses professing his love.

Girl, this is not going to happen. What will happen is you will smarten up or have your heart broken so badly that you will have no choice but to leave. Once you are gone and he isn’t getting that attention from you he will come back saying how much he misses you and wants you. Don’t fall for it. This is the age old trick of “I’m a man and my ego is bruised because you aren’t here to stroke it.”

I hope I answered your question.

Be strong, be smart.


8 Responses to “Dear SG: Should I Celebrate My One Year Anniversary?”

  1. Sorry sweetheart,

    Sounds like an extended jumpoff relationship. You shoulda known after about 8 months or so.

    I give him props for not saying he loved you because a lotta guys do say that just to get some ass.It seems like if he’s gettin’ the ass for a while now, there’s no incentive for him to see what else there is to your dynamic with him.

    It’s chess

  2. Great Post!
    Dear “No Love”,
    How do you answer “No I don’t have a boyfriend” and in the next breath talk about an anniversary? I am 199% co-signing with STSG! You are blocking your blessings hanging on to this man. Let him go and you will find that you won’t even have to “look” for true love. He will find you! Now ween yourself off that “good dick” and DO YOU!
    -The Vegas Rican AKA @ChinaBoricua

  3. To finish 100K’s last line…if I may -

    …NOT Checkers ;)

  4. wow. move on love. MOVE ON

  5. I’m puzzled why all of you are telling hone to move on, what type of shit is that. If they been dating for a year and things are well, by all means have a lil celebration if you and him care for each other. Don’t have to be over the top. All you people on here making it seem like its either all or nothing. Young lady, do you, take it for what it is and enjoy yourself, when you get tired of the situation you will move on. Don’t listen to all these “single” and “lonely” ass women telling you to move on cuzz you a jumpoff, if sex is good and you and dude rocking there is nothing wrong, ask some of these women on here when is the last time they had a guy stick around for a year “j.o” or otherwise. Lastly, nothing corny, and don’t expect something in return, celebrate because you want to and it makes you feel good, him second lol….

  6. I’m with SG to a certain extent. Shorty needs to evaluate whats really going on with them as far as where it’s headed. Our culture is now addicted to a fast-and-furious mindset. “if x doesnt happen by Y time then f – it”. That’s wack and not reality…what happen to progression and growth…geez it’s only been a year. In “adult time” a year aint shit.

    Yung&viral also made a good point….SG excluded….I’ve found that “seasoned-single women” are a cancer to each other – crabs in a barrel if you will..they natural cant help but hate…until there in the same situation then “It’s OK – I got this!”…LMAO

  7. *Sigh* This is our generation. Bet I could tell you to a ‘T’ the exact age, race, and geographical location of One Year Later. She sounds like I did a few months ago.

    Good points were made on both sides. Yes, women can be haters but they can also offer some sage advice if you dig through the jealousy and really hear the message.

    I think its all in how you feel. No, I certainly wouldn’t play myself talking about an anniversary (after all by your own words he’s not your boyfriend), but I would take some time out to re-evaluate what’s going on with you two. It’s been a year and he is playing games with the title. Is this where you thought you’d be 365 days in to it? Have you met any of his friends or family? Has he met yours? How do you know he’s exclusive with you? Does he tell other women he meets that he is dating someone exclusively? All pertinent questions.

    If you can answer those questions honestly and you LIKE the answer you have, then by all means, proceed {And even then I would still urge you to put a time table on how
    much longer you’re willing to be in a situationship}

    But if you don’t like the answers you come up with, find someone else who can give you what you want. Trust me, he’s out there.

  8. I’m with SG on this one, there is no room for celebration but this is a good time for evaluation. You might do an intimate dinner or day in the park or whatever and have a good conversation to say “it’s been a year of us playing around and I’d like to see it go…(Insert your expectations here)”. Men will take advantage of our silence as women and in the meantime we like to kid ourselves into believing we’re just patiently waiting.

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