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Always the Baby Mama But Never the Bride

kim and diddy

You thought you were set for life. You popped out the seeds of a NBA multi-million dollar man. You know him better than he knows himself. Your break up two years ago wasn’t anything that you thought would last forever. Then one day you get a text from him, not a phone call, in person visit but a freaking text saying “I’m getting married soon…want the kids to meet my new wife.”

Welcome to the life of Liza Morales, Lamar Odom’s ex.

Men are insensitive bastards. Their rationale: I don’t want to hurt her or get in a fight so this text will spare both of us. If you haven’t noticed, men are very passive aggressive, they hate conflict so they do stuff like send text messages or fall off the face of the earth, which in turn just makes things worse.

For Liza Morales, Lamar Odom’s ex/baby mama, news of his wedding to Khloe Kardashian must have felt like a dagger in the heart. It was reported that she threw his clothes out of her NYC apartment. I bet she went in like Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale.

Celebrity or not, Khloe and Lamar getting married after dating for one month is a shocker. I believe in love at first sight but I also believe that people get married for all of the wrong reasons. Society has devalued the sanctity of marriage and now two people who have a strong like for one another will walk down the aisle long before two people who have a real connection, deep love, children, house, car, dog and a shared bank account.

Baby mama’s always get the bad end of the deal. They’re thinking they’ve put in real time, football numbers if you will, only to be dumped and replaced with someone younger, sexier and most times kid free.

Don’t believe it, let’s look at the president of the “Baby Mama but Never a Bride” support group—Kim Porter.

Kim has been “with” Sean “I’m Never Getting Married” Combs for eons. She bore him three kids and his ghetto adopted her oldest son from Al B Sure! He dumped her for J. Lo and went back to her after J. Lo dumped him for almost getting her shot up and sent to jail.

With Ms. Fat Booty out of the picture, Kim thought that her time had come. She was on his right arm, walking red carpets even appearing on the cover of Essence to talk about their great and lasting love.

Eventually, she gave birth to twin girls in hopes of really locking it down or at least increasing her monthly child support stipend.

Did it work?

Nope.

Diddy is parading around with Cassie.

Kim loses out yet again.

I hope she learned her lesson.

Some baby mama’s really deserve the ring, keyword being “some”. Many of  them should have left long time ago but stuck it out, had more kids, dug their claws in deeper all because they didn’t want to admit that their relationship was toxic, going no where and they had spent X –number of years attached to a man that really wasn’t in it.

Whenever your ex leaves you and gets married to someone else it hurts. What hurts more than their moving on is realizing that all the time spent with you, all the I Love You’s, gifts, great sex didn’t mean enough for them to ask for your hand in marriage.

I’ve learned that when a man says he doesn’t want to get married or is afraid of commitment (going back to their passive aggressiveness) it means they don’t want to marry or commit to YOU.

As a woman with no kids, this is tough pill to swallow. Your ex that you thought you wanted to marry is gone and loving someone else. In your mind, you know you are the better woman and feel stupid for all you gave of yourself.

Take that emotion and multiply it by 1000 and that might be how a baby mama feels when her ex moves on and gets married. “How can I be good enough to be the mother of your children, but not be good enough to marry?”

Kids are nothing to play around with, which is why when folks as me why I don’t have kids I tell them, “Because I’m not married.”

For all the jilted baby mama’s of the world, this song is for you…

13 Responses to “Always the Baby Mama But Never the Bride”

  1. I agree with you…partially. I aint having kids until I get married, for the same exact reason. But there are women out there who do the exact opposite. As in “I’m having his babies so I can lock this down.” Shit usually backfires, and chicky really has no one to blame but herself. I dont feel sorry for the baby mama. She CHOSE that. And I dont blame the man for living his life, as long as he’s taking care of his kids.

  2. Ha! Thats the same answer I give when people ask me about kids. I wont even know how to create a kid until i’m married. :) lol

  3. Damn real! I refuse to get caught up in the trap of being just a babymama because there is no guarantee that he’s going to stay around just because you are pregnant with his child. That’s asking a lot to let a man blow me up and all out of proportion for 9 months. The least he could do is marry me FIRST! And I too am another one who snaps right back with “I’m not married” when folks ask why I have no children yet. PUHLEASE!

  4. Sorry…

    But if he broke up with her for two years, what more closure does she want? The way she reportedly makes it seem like he was still with her and cheated or something. If they got kids together, the only obligation he has is to them and to make sure they’re situated.

    Whether or not, he wants to “take care of” her is on him.

  5. Dang, SG…You goin HARD today, like you got “other” issues and are using this as therapy. First off, I’m sure after having twins that Kim porter did get her monthly stipend increased, so she DID get something AND she has that Ebony article and other attachments to show and relish. Would she have been on ebony had she NOT been puffy’s baby-mama? Perhaps, but not to talk about her kids. And how is it that a baby-mama is jilted without her knowledge? Isn’t having a baby outside of marriage a choice? I mean, sure condoms break, pills can be forgotten but if you let dude go raw…chances are, you gonna get pregnant sooner or later. I don’t know, but I’d imagine she had some choices in the matter and chose to go RAW, so she gets NO sympathy after the fact. If you’re a grown azz woman, doin grown azz things–don’t come cryin later on talkin about he didn’t marry me. If marriage is what she wanted, she coulda stipulated: I’m not goin raw unless I’m you’re wife..AND I’m not having ANY babies outside of marriage; then any pregnancy would be an “accident” as opposed to something y’all were trying to make happen, or at least NOT trying to prevent. You make alot of assumptions about baby-mama’s that make them seem more like naïve women from back in da-woods, instead of women of the 20th century with blogs, google and Tweets to keep them informed.
    And it is unfair to say any dude who doesn’t marry his baby-mama doesn’t have love and affection for her: but shyt happens over time; ppl change, others don’t. Bcuz we still F*cking doesn’t mean I still love you, but if you still sleeping in my bed, though you know “things have changed” how is dude the blame for the fantasies a woman’s having in her own mind? Women need to take responsibility—not be given a free pass, as if they’ve been raped and held against their will. Dude left her, you let him come back, had MORE babies , without a ring? HELLOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

  6. As far as the statements: Men are insensitive bastards; passive aggressive…..whoa, U got jokes today, but they sound more like HATE. Anyways, Odoms got married to the Kardashian chick after a short romance, but who is to say how long they were doing shyt in the background? And time will be the true determining factor, but THIS marriage could last longer than ones that included long courtships–you just NEVER know. But we know this: There are NO guarantees whether you have YEARS of romance and courting or weeks. Again, if you’re a woman, poppin out babies and NOT getting wife’d….MAYBE it’s YOU! Beyonce got her man–and she ain’t pregnant. Mariah got hers–and she wasn’t pregnant. NOW, if a dude is telling a woman: Baby I’m gonna marry you when the time is right…lets have this kids now, but I got you and you gonna be my woman FOREVER, NOW you got something, bcuz THAT’s wrong! Damned wrong. But I’ma bet NONE of these women pressed the dudes in question. They was just goin along for the ride…happy to be where they were. But if you don’t DEMAND more, don’t be surprised when you don’t GET more than a pic on the red carpet, a sip of Moet, a ride in a limo, a vacation in Cancun…….But no bridal shower…no wedding dinner………No RING……IF U settle for dyck and a little bit of paper….U bound to get JUST what you settle for.

  7. lmao…FYI: My 3 kids all have the same mom and we were married when each of them came into the world……

  8. Things happen. All you can do is learn and move on

  9. i dont ever want to be just another baby mama…that is why i went straight from high school to college…while the other chicks in my neighborhood decided to have 3 or 4 kids by more than one guy. no thanks. i wont be going through having my body bent out of shape for 9 months, sickness and all that just to be a baby mama…especially when i have witnessed alot of men where i live leave the woman WHILE she was pregnant. alot can happen in 9 months, so i would at least want that committment (marriage) before i commit to going through all of that. true, marriages fail and people get divorces, thereby putting the woman is the same position as a baby mama. but i feel that a man probably is less likely to walk away when there are problems in the relationship if marriage is involved…whereas, if that commitment is not there, men would be less inclined to try to stick it out. but as someone said above, just because a man had a baby with a woman (especially before marriage), doesnt mean he has any obligations towards her, only to his kids…

  10. I agree 100% with DC Man. Women need to make these men put on a condom if they’re going to be screwing. Bottom line.
    And nowadays, it seems like people don’t even put much real effort into marriage anymore, so I think it really comes down to knowing who you’re with. Personally, I think Kim Porter knew exactly what she was doing. And she got what she wanted.

  11. plus p diddy is gay…thats why he wont marry kim porter lol

  12. Having (1) baby out of wedlock is a mistake.

    Having (2) babies out of wedlock screams of low self esteem.

    Having (3) babies out of wedlock reaps of “I’m desperate and need saving”.

    Having (4) or more babies out of wedlock is just plan stupid.

  13. again, it doesn’t make any difference whether if u are pregnant and single or if you are pregnant and married, if you are not happy, you are just not happy. A paper will not change anything nor will automatically fix everything that bothers you about your relationship.
    So if Lamar’s girlfriend-mother of his kids had a crappy relationship with Lamar in the past, i think it is better that they didn’t get married. I don’t think he is gonna stay married for too long, something about that marriage doesn’t seem real, nor honest, it looks like she wanted a big party and a cover of a magazine…and another cast member for her trashy reality TV show.


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