3 Ways to Win/Keep a Man


There are thousands of books, websites and experts who all spew crap about how to make relationships work, what a man and woman should do…it’s not that deep. Ladies, if you are single, looking for love, in love, have a long term relationship that is kinda on the rocks, or want to seal the deal and get that ring on your finger…take notes.

1. SEX

Do it often, make it good, spice it up and do everything at least once…yes, EVERYTHING. If you got in the game sucking, licking, plucking, teasing and pleasing but one year later you are always on your back looking up at the ceiling like Celie in The Color Purple, your man is going to lose interest and look elsewhere. All of this “I don’t do that…” will be your demise. If you talked a good game about how you got that crack in your crotch and he’ll be sprung, you should be able to deliver. Now, it’s not about giving it to him whenever he wants like some hooker. It’s about being able to take the driver’s seat and spring it on him in a way he’d never see coming.

• Go to his house in a trench coat with nothing on underneath but some killer heels and keep the shoes on during sex.

• Suggest a video camera, record, watch right after and erase

• Get on them knees and rock the mic when he’s just chilling on the couch watching the game. When you’re done swallow and before walking off say, “I’ll let you finish the game.” 

• Learn how to ride. Men get tired of being on top all the time.

These are just tips, some extreme, some realistic. You get the point.

2. Home Cooking

Now I was going to say “food” but that is too vague. Girl, get in that kitchen and cook a hot meal. No microwave, no frozen dinner, no canned food either. Don’t slave in the kitchen for hours. Go to Barnes & Noble and get a Rachel Ray 30 Minute Meals cookbook and whip up a well balanced dinner: meat/protein, starch, veggie. No, it doesn’t have to be every night, once or twice is good enough (if you aren’t married or don’t have kids). Ladies, you don’t know how sexy men think walking in and seeing a woman from the back standing at the counter stirring something up. It drives them wild. It’s that mommy/nurturing complex. Cooking exemplifies how much you care about his, and your, well-being, strength and body. Believe it or not, it is a sign of love.

3. Take Care of a House

This may seem broad but, really, it means keep a clean house. There is nothing more disgusting than a nasty ass woman. This means dishes in the sink, crusty panties balled in the corner, magazines everywhere. Men notice everything—that snotty tissue that missed the garbage can?— everything. Most won’t say anything but they are taking notes. We on the other hand will walk in their house and let it be known, “This place is a mess!” but they don’t care because they know when they get married or move in with a woman, she isn’t going to let the house get that bad. Ladies if you plan on moving in with a man be prepared to be somewhat of an interior designer and the woman of the house.

* Honorable Mention – Conversation / Intelligence

When I ran this list down to a man friend of mine he agreed 100% but told me that he needs a woman with whom he can have a conversation. I thought that was implied but he assured me that it needed to be said. If your mate is in the world of business, you should know something about the world of business, read or the NY Times, have an educated opinion on politics, sports, etc. Challenge him on his views and don’t give up so easily. Men like to know they are with someone that can make them stop and think. Another man friend told me that when he is meeting this one woman for drinks and dinner, he brings a post-it note and pen because she always hits him with something during conversation that he wants to go back and research.

I know folks are going to get on here and blast this list as a traditional, rigid way of women being second-class to men and not every man wants this blah, blah, blah. Look at this list as a foundation, a skeleton that you can build on any way that you want. However, try having a relationship where after bad boring sex, you heat up Chinese food leftovers that you two eat out the box ’cause all your dishes are piled up in the sink and see how long he sticks around.

—Says the Single Girl

Originally posted Sept 11, 2008 on


13 Responses to “3 Ways to Win/Keep a Man”

  1. AGREE!!! AGREE!!! AGREE…esp since these are just basic things you should know how to do for youself…you shoud already keep a clean house, know how to make some basic meals and lastly if you aren’t confident with putting it on him…go to a couple of porn sites and eventually you will start to improve…Let’s get those rings ladies…

  2. I think the site looks great- i like the denimy- background. =0)

  3. Yes x3. Totally agree. The only thing I have to add is make sure that ninja is worthy. You can be cooking cleaning and sexing it up, but what is his ass doing to keep you?

    Can ya tell I just did all of this and had to stop and think, now wait, how the hell is this benefitial to me? Yeah.

  4. Ok, ladies, how do you do it, how do you improve your techniques if you are single? Tips?? Suggestions??

  5. These are all wonderful points from a female point of view..

    From a male point of view, the biggest thing i can agree on is the tidiness of the home she lives in/shares… I dated a girl who had a crusty or two in a corner.. I know she meant well but…

    Crazy thing is that after we seperated, i began to believe that she was good to me and i could’ve looked past it or worked w/ it.. I really enjoyed her company and i found out later she really liked me too… but i blew her off to SOCIETIES RULES and STANDARDs..

    Now everyone has a fair chance at this good guy..

    If I can leave anything behind here for the women of today, please allow the men of the world to get to know you, seriously.. What i see now is that women have grown to be so afraid of man that they’d rather keep to themselves, buy these wonderful toys and ignore God’s will all together…

    Great guys have stereotyped good women because good women stereotype mostly all men..

  6. I think the list just goes back to the stereotypical BS that women have been fed for centuries. Men want a woman who can cook & clean, and throw it down in the bed room, but also intelligent and can hold a conversation.. yes yawwwnn those are the staples, my question is where are the high standards for men. Why can’t we as women have the same requirements for men. Black men want a woman with ass, so why can’t we require we only want a man with a big diCk? Why isn’t there a list that men should have to hold up to get a woman?? There are things that woman should be able to do to get or keep a man and men should have the same requirements put on them. I say that he has to be tall, fine, have a big ding ding and be able to provide with a J.O.B and his own s*hit! No drama and no mama’s boys!

  7. I also refuse to be cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, or giving up sex on a regular basis to any man who hasn’t put a ring on my finger. Call me old fashioned, but men want to get the milk for free without buying the cow, and this whole wifey thing is BS! I also don’t believe in living together unless engaged and ready to marry, because I’m not gonna be playing house with a man! Women raise your standards and men will be forced to follow suit and step up to the plate to get the women they want and desire.

  8. Yes, i am single and I’d rather be single and happy then with a ninja who ain’t shiit and settling. I’m a good woman who deserves a good man and I will not waiver in my morals or beliefs.

  9. i would have to agree. the same way you got him is the same way you must keep him.ladies the ones that say what they wont do. remember theres a woman out there willing to do what you want do.remember that . dont say i didnt warn you . because am that one. am the clean up lady. am the one he cums to when he needs a fix up or when you make him madd. call it what you want . dont hate the game hate the haters.thats why guy loves hoodrats, tramps, hookers ect…. because they do what the woman want do . and nine out of ten thats who he will leave you for. think am lying ask superhead…..

  10. itz funny that sex is listed first. .when personally, intelligence and conversing should be da firth thing listed. if two people cant communicated itz doomed from failure anyway. far as home cookin dats good but i think both should be able to, this not the old dayz and things hav changed so i feel if both are helpin cook the meal when possible can add more spice to the relationship. .sex well dat obvious as well as taking care of home. .who wants to be wit sum1 dat cant take care of home. ..home is where it starts anyway when its a family, if more ppl worried bout takin care of their home first instead of worrying about wut others are doing and tryna criticize yanno. ..


  12. Duvlek..don’t let the feminist movement brainwash you.Marriage dates back thousands of years and it’s an old institution with old basic principles(listed in the above article) that if applied,will result in a long and lasting marriage even in the mordern times we live in. For all you female posters who see this as “Unfair”, Hellooo..”Life is many times Unfair”. James Brown was right by saying “This is a mans world”. And until we can maybe re-create old ancient African cultures where women were in charge and ran villages(they even had women s armies) and men were considered subordinate and preyed on by women for sex (I would love that..I get tired of alway’s being the, men will alway’s have the advantage..even no good men with no JOB can still get some..even if they have to go to Keisha to get some love cause their boo have kicked them out the
    I do agree that if you are a woman, make sure the guy is deserving before you do all these things for him or you will be the fool and if he is not reciprocating your love and kindness, kick him to the curve quick.

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