3 Ways to Win/Keep a Man
There are thousands of books, websites and experts who all spew crap about how to make relationships work, what a man and woman should do…it’s not that deep. Ladies, if you are single, looking for love, in love, have a long term relationship that is kinda on the rocks, or want to seal the deal and get that ring on your finger…take notes.
Do it often, make it good, spice it up and do everything at least once…yes, EVERYTHING. If you got in the game sucking, licking, plucking, teasing and pleasing but one year later you are always on your back looking up at the ceiling like Celie in The Color Purple, your man is going to lose interest and look elsewhere. All of this “I don’t do that…” will be your demise. If you talked a good game about how you got that crack in your crotch and he’ll be sprung, you should be able to deliver. Now, it’s not about giving it to him whenever he wants like some hooker. It’s about being able to take the driver’s seat and spring it on him in a way he’d never see coming.
• Go to his house in a trench coat with nothing on underneath but some killer heels and keep the shoes on during sex.
• Suggest a video camera, record, watch right after and erase
• Get on them knees and rock the mic when he’s just chilling on the couch watching the game. When you’re done swallow and before walking off say, “I’ll let you finish the game.”
• Learn how to ride. Men get tired of being on top all the time.
These are just tips, some extreme, some realistic. You get the point.
2. Home Cooking
Now I was going to say “food” but that is too vague. Girl, get in that kitchen and cook a hot meal. No microwave, no frozen dinner, no canned food either. Don’t slave in the kitchen for hours. Go to Barnes & Noble and get a Rachel Ray 30 Minute Meals cookbook and whip up a well balanced dinner: meat/protein, starch, veggie. No, it doesn’t have to be every night, once or twice is good enough (if you aren’t married or don’t have kids). Ladies, you don’t know how sexy men think walking in and seeing a woman from the back standing at the counter stirring something up. It drives them wild. It’s that mommy/nurturing complex. Cooking exemplifies how much you care about his, and your, well-being, strength and body. Believe it or not, it is a sign of love.
3. Take Care of a House
This may seem broad but, really, it means keep a clean house. There is nothing more disgusting than a nasty ass woman. This means dishes in the sink, crusty panties balled in the corner, magazines everywhere. Men notice everything—that snotty tissue that missed the garbage can?— everything. Most won’t say anything but they are taking notes. We on the other hand will walk in their house and let it be known, “This place is a mess!” but they don’t care because they know when they get married or move in with a woman, she isn’t going to let the house get that bad. Ladies if you plan on moving in with a man be prepared to be somewhat of an interior designer and the woman of the house.
* Honorable Mention – Conversation / Intelligence
When I ran this list down to a man friend of mine he agreed 100% but told me that he needs a woman with whom he can have a conversation. I thought that was implied but he assured me that it needed to be said. If your mate is in the world of business, you should know something about the world of business, read WSJ.com or the NY Times, have an educated opinion on politics, sports, etc. Challenge him on his views and don’t give up so easily. Men like to know they are with someone that can make them stop and think. Another man friend told me that when he is meeting this one woman for drinks and dinner, he brings a post-it note and pen because she always hits him with something during conversation that he wants to go back and research.
I know folks are going to get on here and blast this list as a traditional, rigid way of women being second-class to men and not every man wants this blah, blah, blah. Look at this list as a foundation, a skeleton that you can build on any way that you want. However, try having a relationship where after bad boring sex, you heat up Chinese food leftovers that you two eat out the box ’cause all your dishes are piled up in the sink and see how long he sticks around.
—Says the Single Girl
Originally posted Sept 11, 2008 on