Browsing all posts in April, 2009.

Porn Does the Body Good

Last week I went through a spell where I literally consumed an estimated three hours of porn a night, six nights straight. I watched 489 video clips on Rude.com. Then when that bored me I headed over to Youporn.com, Redtube.com (as I type this my homie informs me of xvideos.com and movie2k.com, who knew!). I [...]

Why You So Jealous!?!?!?

I suffer from the green eyed monster. I will not deny it and any person who does is lying through their teeth. There is job envy (“How the hell she land that job, I am so much smarter than her”), car envy (“Heated seats, damn, I want that.”), body envy (‘That bitch’s body is banging, [...]

Are you Trying to Kill Me?

One early morning, a couple weeks ago, I was awaken by a frantic phone call from a girlfriend. “SG, this dude is trying to kill me?” “Huh?” I jumped out of my stupor. “Call the police!” “No, not like bang, bang kill me. His ass is a slipper.” She’d been seeing this guy for a [...]

The Story of Jesus Whore

Dear Reader – This marks the debut of a recurring tale about a young woman (late 20s) whose fight with good and evil results in her praying to God for a man, sleeping around, repenting for her sins and starting all over again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ladies and gentlemen, this is the story of Jesus Whore. She [...]

(BAD) Pillow Talk

The following conversation is culled from several experiences. Be sure to read to yourself or others in a whisper…a sexy whisper, regardless of the context or intent of the words. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Scene: Dimly lit Bedroom Time: anytime between 12am – 6am Who: Jump off couple engaging in foreplay and sex (use your own imaginations) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [...]